Gonzaga, But Not Forgotten

Quick quiz: What was missing from the league last season? If you answered 16 games on the schedule per squad, you are technically correct (and sort of a smart-ass). However, if you possess a keener, kookier eye for the game, you'll have noticed the league was lacking a bewhiskered, bygone Bobcats bust: Adam Morrison*. The man who looks like he makes his own trail mix has signed with the Trailblazers, after a stint in Serbia and time in Turkey. The contract is one-year for the veteran's minimum, so there's as good a chance that Morrison winds up on the roster opening day as there is that he winds up on the set of Portlandia^.

Speaking of draft disappointments, Darko Milicic, who we're now calling "Amnesty International," following his release by the Timberwolves, toyed with a European reunion before choosing the Celtics. There are Darko days ahead in Boston and we envision Kevin Garnett dressing him down so much that KG ultimately uses him as a coat rack. Milicic's presence will be petty, except when holding petticoats.

*And if you had paid even closer attention, you'd have observed that he was actually absent from the association for 2 years.

^We're sure the producers find the idea of a locally-sourced actor appealing. Morrison may not be free-range, but he's definitely long-range.

It Could Be Verse

Back in his college days, J.J. Redick composed some poems, proving his passion for perimeter lines and pentameter ones. Now that he's sidelined with an injury, he's got some time on his hands (just because he's in the pros doesn't mean he only writes prose). In a exclusive, we have his latest work, The Ballad of the Bench-Warmer.

I sit in a suit and watch from the pine
As my coach continues to whine and whine
There's no ref or call he won't bash
He's uptight for a man with a porn moustache
Stan Van and his star are emotional wrecks
It's no wonder Dwight has 17 techs.

I make plans to party 'til dawn*
With fellow Dukie Chris Duhon
I see Ryan Andersen shoot a three
And oh, how I wish that was me
He reminds me I dearly miss my vocation
As the only other white guy in the rotation.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating
It's not what's eating Gilbert, but what's Gilbert eating?
Never again will he be a starter
His effort is low, recalling Vince Carter
Turkoglu throws another errant pass
That had no chance of reaching Brandon Bass.

Depleted roster leads to another loss
Our bench is thinner than Kate Moss
Just think, I used to be another Duke a-hole
But now I fulfill a critical role
A small victory I've surely won
Just by out-lasting Adam Morrison.

*Ok, I lied -- we're going to Cinnabon