Name That Tunisia

Don't feel bad if you were unfamiliar with the northern African nation of Tunisia*, they were participating in only their second Olympic basketball game ever when they tipped off against Team USA Tuesday. Watching the first half, you wouldn't have know that was the case. If France, who the U.S. beat the crepe out of, was a test, Tunisia was supposed to be a tune-up, but the beginners didn't back down. Comparisons can cease between Team USA from 20 years ago and this inferior iteration. The Dream Team wouldn't have been down for a majority of the first quarter (the only thing fell flat with the '92 crew was Chris Mullins' coiffure and that was intentional). Coach K had to beckon his bench bunch before a blowout blossomed. The reserves went into what we call Katie Holmes mode - powerfully pulling away and never looking back.

Still, it wound up being a 47-point win, so, like a chimpanzee concerned with cleanliness, we're nit-picking when we mention too many threes were taken (only Chandler and Davis didn't attempt any out of the 25 heedlessly hoisted). Kobe and company won't be in a sneaker-signing mood on the off-chance Nigeria sneaks up on them tonight. Agreeing to autograph an adversary's adidas is friendly, but now that these games count, they can't be treated as friendlies anymore.

*heck, it wasn't until we we left the public education system that we learned there are continents besides North America and Europe (don't ask us to name them, though).

The Psychclone

The Knicks resemble a certain Coney Island attraction: the Cyclone*. Like a roller coaster, they're up and down, taking their fans for an unpredictable ride that sways between sensational and sickening. The squad streaks more than frisky freshmen. While the appeal of the legendary amusement ride is that it's wooden, the Knicks, who've won four in a row, are alluring again because of Woodson, as in new coach Mike Woodson, who we thought underachieved with Atlanta, but the Hawks are just as unambitious in his absence, so Woodson has been cleared of that charge. They've romped in the quartet of games, obliterating opponents by an average margin of 16 points. Accomplish it in MSG against the Blazers and Raptors doesn't mean much, but back-to-back in a home-and-home versus the fifth-place Pacers might mean the team is back on track. The current fourth-seeded 76ers present a true test on the road tonight.

When it comes to facing the fallout over the Monta Ellis trade, Joe Lacob doesn't just have to handle his better and bitter half (see: our previous post). During a halftime speech in which the team retired Chris Mullin's jersey, the fans flooded with boisterous boos to the extent that Mullin picked up the microphone to calm the crowd, preaching patience. However, the cranky chorus continued, so it seems supporters weren't interested in mulling over Mullin's message. Maybe they were just elongating the last name of new addition Andrew Bogut.

While larger market franchises still steal the spotlight from them like last year, the Memphis Grizzlies continue to swipe the most important thing: the basketball. As a team, the Grizz lead the league larceny, averaging 10 thefts per game. And while it's almost criminal they don't get more press, they are bound to now that they've signed an actual criminal, Gilbert Arenas. To ensure he doesn't turn backcourt mate Mike Conley into a con-man, Memphis needs to institute a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to "Agent Zero."

*Not Nathan's famous hot dogs, you fatso.