Bring in 'da Funke

Unlike most people, Cavaliers Dan Gilbert would like to put the past in front of him. On the sidelines, specifically. Cleveland has rehired Mike Brown to be their coach. Brown, downsized in 2010, is trying the job on for size again. He returned for second stint on Tuesday, agreeing to a five-year contract. "To me, it just fits perfect like a puzzle," gauged Gilbert*, whose team has been trying to pick up the pieces since Brown's dismissal. What's puzzling is why Brown was let go in the first place. Cleveland made the playoffs in all five season Brown was at the helm. Three losing seasons in a row were enough to prompt Gilbert to rejigger the jigsaw.

Maybe after Brown's new deal ends, he'll rejoin the Lakers for five more games. Or, perhaps LeBron James, in a remorseful "Re-Decision," will come back his old club in 2014. That's about as plausible the cast of cult comedy Arrested Development reuniting seven years later to produce new episodes. Wait, that's happening next month? We're Gob-smacked. We guess you can never say "never" (but feel free to say "never nude" as much as you'd like).

*If said puzzle was given up on, taken apart and then forgotten for several years.

Brown Out

Even though Mike Brown has a pair of glasses to match his every suit, as well as an endorsement deal with Oakley, we don't think he saw this coming. Brown has been fired following the Lakers bad beginning. L.A.'s glaring 1-4 record caused a crabby Kobe Bryant to glare from the bench during a loss on Wednesday (it's fair to say he wasn't Jazzed to be beaten by Utah). Signs that the squad of superstars, who traded for top talent Dwight Howard and Steve Nash in the offseason, were struggling showed in the preseason, when L.A. went winless.

In the end, 2009's Coach of the Year was granted a mere 71 regular season games with the Lakers, of which the club won 42, despite him signing a four-year contract in 2011. Brown told Esquire last year that the amount of eyewear he owned was "embarrassing," so we're wondering what word he would use to describe being dismissed just five games into a season? It's ironic that a man with a surplus of spectacles was faulted for a fading focus.

Back and Fourth

While the last quartet of teams was being determined in college basketball on Sunday, a far more fascinating "Final Four" was taking place: a quadruple overtime game between Utah and Atlanta, the first since 1997 and just the ninth such contest in league history. The Hawks went on to win 139-133, despite this being the team's third game in three nights, snapping the Jazz's string of six straight victories. 233 shots were attempted, a symmetrical seven players on each squad scored in double figures and the teams combined for only 21 turnovers. Here are four other standout moments from the shortened but significant season, in the order they occured:

1. February 6: Kobe Bryant moves into fifth on the NBA's all-time scoring supplanting former ally and adversary Shaq. The Big Studio Analyst was complimentary, declaring Kobe, "the greatest Laker ever." Asked if there was special significance in superseding Shaq, Kobe says, "No. It was inevitable."* As certain as him taking the last shot in a close game, as assured as the Lakers overtaking the Clippers in the standings, as pre-determined as Mike Brown being blamed for the squad's shortcomings.

2. February 7: Paul Pierce passes Larry Bird to move into second place on the Celtics scoring list, with 21,797 points, in an otherwise meaningless game against the Bobcats. Bostonians have a hard time accepting "The Truth" that Larry Legend has been lowered a level and contemplate carrying out the plot of Celtic Pride as a solution to their problem.

3. February 19: Two-time league scoring leader Kevin Durant hits the half-century mark in game, piling up a career-high 51 points. Russell Westbrook, trailing closely, nets 41, and Serge Ibaka tallies his first-ever triple-double, with 14 points, 15 rebounds and 11 blocks. It's the third time Ibaka has recorded 10 or more blocks this season, making Mt. Mutombo shrink to the size of a hill. The man erases more than a no. 2 pencil of a sloppy student.

4. March 14: Rajon Rondo registers his second triple-double in three games (and fourth of the season), with 18 points, 20 assists and a career-best 17 rebounds for his 17th overall triple-double. The last player to have 17 or more points, plus dimes and boards, in a game was Magic Johnson in 1989. Inspired by a scene in Good Will Hunting, Rondo presses the stat sheet against the window of GM Danny Ainge's office, shouting, "I got these numbers. How do you like them apples?" Then, he proceeds to make love to Minnie Driver

*His drive is almost as impressive as what he drives.