Exerting Linfluence

1. We have Lincentive to head to the nearest newsstand. Time magazine released its yearly list of the 100 "Most Influential People in the World." Jeremy Lin did double duty, not only earning the honor but also penning an entry about another athlete to achieve the accolade, Tim Tebow, adding another layer to the assessment of this age being "Tebow time." That should Lindoctrinate the unLinformed. Your move, Newsweek, show some Linitiative.

2. Dear Delonte West, you're only supposed to haze rookies on your own team. The expression for an inexperienced person is "wet behind the ears" not wet between the ears.

3. Both went heavy on the lettuce: Hornets head coach Monty Williams, offered this response, when asked if he'd spoken yet with new Hornets owner Tom Benson, "I bought a Subway sandwich today and he spent $300 million." At least one of them made a prudent purchase*.

4.Dwyane Wade's beau, Gabrielle Union, may be the hottest heckler ever. Her barbs are so brash - listen for the one she shouted at senior official Dick Bavetta - that she was asked not to sit courtside anymore. She also shared with Conan O'Brien that Wade hasn't seen many major movies from the 1980s. Well, we know what he has to do on his next Day Off.

5. Houston, we have a huge problem: Less than two weeks ago,the Rockets were in the sixth spot in the Western Conference, but since then they've plummeted to 10th place, losing seven of eight and on Sunday were officially eliminated from the playoff chase by a Miami team missing two-thirds of its "tres grande." Not even North Korean rockets fail that spectacularly.

*Assuming Williams took advantage of the April BOGO special.

Streaks and Geeks

We'd like to plead temporary Linsanity, regarding our Linfautation with a certain sofa-surfing, stereotype-shattering, country-captivating Asian-American basketball player. In February, perhaps longing for love and layups, we were crushing on him* (when you don't guard your heart, a guard can find your heart); in March, opponents are crushing him and his club. Faster than a New York minute, the Knicks have come crashing down like stuntmen in Spiderman on Broadway. The Knick's road trip has turned into a road tumble, losing four straight games. They haven't won since Leap Day and need to be jump-started again. At this point, the Knicks are in full Wilson Phillips mode - trying their hardest to just "Hold On" to the last playoff spot in the East.

Linsanity was Linfectious and we were swept up - or at least Swiffered up - in the fun and puns^ of the story. We committed Linfidelity; annulling our relationship with our hometown team and ardently adopting another in the metropolis we once lived in. The city never sleeps, so it was fitting that New York was the first place to not sleep on Lin. Still, he snuck up on us stealthily, like a Linja. We wanted a Tim Tebow to call our own in the NBA (sadly, our gesture of Linbo-ing never caught on). We loved that the only bank this Harvard alum with a degree in economics was interested in making was a bank shot. The comparisons to Steve Nash are apt, in that Lin's defense is Linadequate, although he does have active hands and steals as well as a professional pickpocket. Rajon Rondo had what Ice Cube would describe as "a good day" against him, messing around and getting a triple-double, while Tony Parker was magnifique, scoring 32 points. The competition now has the CliffsNotes on half of the bookish backcourt, that's why Lin is being "lit" up. That's not to suggest Lin deserves the lion's share of the blame, since it seems the Knicks players have something in common with those on Saturday Night Live: they're not ready for prime-time. That's Linauspicious because the last thing the league desires is for the Knicks to revert to being Linsignifcant.


*Sports Illustrated did send the first issue with Lin on the cover and the annual swimsuit edition out simultaneously. Talk about boom and bust.
^Admittedly, we over-Lindulged in the wordplay.