Now that the Rockets season is through, Jeremy Lin tweeted that he'd send a pair of his sneakers to the first follower to correctly guess which restaurant he was heading to in his hometown, to which teammate Chandler Parsons - perhaps looking to stir-fry up trouble - replied, "Panda Express."* Rather than (egg) roll his eyes, Lin teasingly called Parsons "Donald Sterling." Come on, Chandler, Lin makes millions now - he can afford P.F. Chang's.
No longer a Golden opportunity: We don't know if they put a hand down, but the Golden State Warriors are a man down. Specifically, their coach, Mark Jackson, who was fired Tuesday. Despite leading the club to back-to-back playoff berths, he won't be back. Remember when Jackson told fans not to attend his team's games (and unless you suffer from short-term memory loss you should because it was last week)? Now he's free to follow his own advice. Mama, there goes that man...to the unemployment line.
Hop to it, coach: We've heard of a sore loser, but never a soar winner. Washington coach Randy Wittman, 54, pledged to his players that if they prevailed in their first round series, he would attempt a dunk. Wittman, who stands 6'6", hasn't fulfilled his promise yet and players are jumping all over him for not jumping. Wittman gave them his word, so he's bound to do it.
Clearing the Air Jordan: A new biography of Michael Jordan discloses his dislike of white people as a youngster and recalls an incident where a classmate called him a racial slur and he responded by tossing a soft drink at her (he was suspended from school because they had a Coke Zero-tolerance policy). Jordan eventually learned it wasn't healthy to keep his hatred bottled up.
*guess who's not coming to dinner
Showing posts with label Jeremy Lin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeremy Lin. Show all posts
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Go Tell It On the Mountain
When LeBron James peaks, it's exciting; when he speaks about peaks, it's egomaniacal. In an interview that will air next Monday on NBA TV, the non-presidential LBJ said, "I'm going to be one of the top four to play this game", when asked about his made-up 'Mount Rushmore' of roundball. Yes, he's the face of the Association today, but does his mug belong among basketball's best? Let's not Rushmore to judgement.
He preemptively and premeditatedly upstaged the dunk contest in Heat practice Monday*, and in the year when he isn't the front-runner for MVP honors*, he's holding court on his spot in the annals of the Association. It's as if he takes his place in history for granite.
Do not enter the dragon: It's a drag that guard Goran Dragic was left off the All-Star team. The lineup was set without the Sun, whose squad sat a surprising 10 games above .500 when the subs were selected, and that's a shame. Considering he's doubled his career scoring average and Phoenix is in a playoff position, he deserves a place not just on the Suns, but in the sun.
Best viewed with plenty of Pop-corn: We had a mix-up at the movies. It turns out the flick That Awkward Moment isn't about interviewing Gregg Popovich on the sidelines between quarters.
Bynum in bulk: The wait is over to learn who the overweight Andrew Bynum would sign with. The chubby championship chaser chose Indiana. He could be the difference in the Pacers besting the Heat in a postseason series, but if his pitiful pit stops in Philadelphia and Cleveland are any indication, he's more likely to be the indifference.
Lin, the stallion: According to the Chinese calendar, it's the year of the horse. That might explain Jeremy Lin's studly showing, which happened the day after the new year commenced, when he recorded his first career triple-double and did so saddling up as a substitute. It was another reminder the Knicks really should've ponied up to keep him.
*instead of LeBron throwing the ball off the wall, fans will see John Wall this Saturday
^the only screams for "Kevin" we've heard louder were in Home Alone
He preemptively and premeditatedly upstaged the dunk contest in Heat practice Monday*, and in the year when he isn't the front-runner for MVP honors*, he's holding court on his spot in the annals of the Association. It's as if he takes his place in history for granite.
Do not enter the dragon: It's a drag that guard Goran Dragic was left off the All-Star team. The lineup was set without the Sun, whose squad sat a surprising 10 games above .500 when the subs were selected, and that's a shame. Considering he's doubled his career scoring average and Phoenix is in a playoff position, he deserves a place not just on the Suns, but in the sun.
Best viewed with plenty of Pop-corn: We had a mix-up at the movies. It turns out the flick That Awkward Moment isn't about interviewing Gregg Popovich on the sidelines between quarters.
Bynum in bulk: The wait is over to learn who the overweight Andrew Bynum would sign with. The chubby championship chaser chose Indiana. He could be the difference in the Pacers besting the Heat in a postseason series, but if his pitiful pit stops in Philadelphia and Cleveland are any indication, he's more likely to be the indifference.
Lin, the stallion: According to the Chinese calendar, it's the year of the horse. That might explain Jeremy Lin's studly showing, which happened the day after the new year commenced, when he recorded his first career triple-double and did so saddling up as a substitute. It was another reminder the Knicks really should've ponied up to keep him.
*instead of LeBron throwing the ball off the wall, fans will see John Wall this Saturday
^the only screams for "Kevin" we've heard louder were in Home Alone
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Trey Bien
Talk about a triple threat. The Rockets matched an Association mark and set a team one by making a net-if-not-mind-melting 23 three-pointers, which accounted for exactly half of their made field goals, in a blowout win over the Warriors last night. Houston connected on a Hades-hot 57.5% of its attempts from beyond the arc, better than its overall platter-of-fajitas-sizzling shooting for the game (50.5%), as every single player successfully sank at least half of the threes they tried. Jeremy Lin led the long distance liftoff with 5, while the fuzzy-faced James Harden hit 4 and the Chandler Parsons Project contributed 4. Even a guy from Lithuania, Donatas Motiejunas, who had 15 career starts, was part of the mania, adding one.
The surge was all the more surprising since they were - dare we say en fuego*? - minus Carlos Delfino, the Argentine assassin (which is nickname we made up for him just now) and the team's top swisher of said shot. Thanks to a touch better than that bizarre boy on Kiefer Sutherland's show, the Rockets turned Tuesday into Threesday.
*Two romance languages in one post? Mamma mia!
The surge was all the more surprising since they were - dare we say en fuego*? - minus Carlos Delfino, the Argentine assassin (which is nickname we made up for him just now) and the team's top swisher of said shot. Thanks to a touch better than that bizarre boy on Kiefer Sutherland's show, the Rockets turned Tuesday into Threesday.
*Two romance languages in one post? Mamma mia!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Allow Themselves to Introduce...Themselves
A trio of intros from the second night of the season, with a nod to Austin Powers, but not to Austin Rivers (1-for-9 shooting):
1. Take abrow bow, Anthony Davis. The first overall pick showed defense isn't the only dimension of his game by dropping 21 points. However, last year's NCAA leader in swatted shots had only one block and couldn't block the path of the tireless Tim Duncan, who recorded a game-high 24 points. To the deft Duncan, the rook was a mere pawn.
2. Before last night, you probably thought Trailblazers guard Damian Lillard was Matthew Lillard's cousin. Lillard, the pride of Weber State* (which is not Chris Webber's alma mater) and the sixth selection in the draft, totaled 22 points and 11 assists in Portland's victory, but he did maybe more damage inadvertently, when Steve Nash ran into the rookie and hurt his left leg. It turns out athlete Lillard has something in common with actor Lillard: he too made people Scream in fear.
3. James Harden has said that heading to Houston a handful of days ago from Oklahoma City was a "whirlwind." How appropriate that he went on to blow by the Pistons like a hirsute hurricane. Harden had a career-high 12 assists to complement 37 points, 6 boards, 4 steals and a block in Houston's win. Only three players in the past quarter-century can show off a similar stat line: Jordan, Bird and Dwyane Wade. Those weren't the only eye-catching numbers attributed to Harden on Wednesday, as he agreed to an $80 million extension. Best of all was the Linterplay between Harden and his backcourt buddy, Jeremy Lin, who produced 12 points, 8 assists and 4 steals. We predict they'll make as many connections as LinkedIn.
*which we wish Emmanuel Lewis would buy and rename Webster State.
1. Take a
2. Before last night, you probably thought Trailblazers guard Damian Lillard was Matthew Lillard's cousin. Lillard, the pride of Weber State* (which is not Chris Webber's alma mater) and the sixth selection in the draft, totaled 22 points and 11 assists in Portland's victory, but he did maybe more damage inadvertently, when Steve Nash ran into the rookie and hurt his left leg. It turns out athlete Lillard has something in common with actor Lillard: he too made people Scream in fear.
3. James Harden has said that heading to Houston a handful of days ago from Oklahoma City was a "whirlwind." How appropriate that he went on to blow by the Pistons like a hirsute hurricane. Harden had a career-high 12 assists to complement 37 points, 6 boards, 4 steals and a block in Houston's win. Only three players in the past quarter-century can show off a similar stat line: Jordan, Bird and Dwyane Wade. Those weren't the only eye-catching numbers attributed to Harden on Wednesday, as he agreed to an $80 million extension. Best of all was the Linterplay between Harden and his backcourt buddy, Jeremy Lin, who produced 12 points, 8 assists and 4 steals. We predict they'll make as many connections as LinkedIn.
*which we wish Emmanuel Lewis would buy and rename Webster State.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Cruel Summer Camp
If the word "camp" is, as John Waters once defined it on the Simpsons, "the tragically ludicrous, the ludicrously tragic," then Dwight Howard not attending the camp for kids that carries his name is just that: camp. Howard had already delayed the annual two-day event by six weeks because his is in L.A. rehabbing, but backing it up turned to backing out, due to a bad bad, so the $199 registration fee will bring backup Andrew Nicholson - who not even the league's website can show you what he looks like (attendees will have to identify him by his Canadianness, such as the way he pronounces "Orlando")- to the young'uns. Just because Howard's an unhappy camper doesn't mean he has to make his own campers unhappy, too. Howard's acting more childish than any youth who signed up.
If you don't tire of learning Jeremy Lin news, you'll want to keep track of the Linformation that Taiwan tire company Maxxis struck a deal to sponsor the Houston Rockets. Like their rival manufacturer, Maxxis is hoping for a Goodyear out of Lin. There's a more obvious brand that should've burned rubber to link itself with Houston's new PG. After all, you can't spell "Michelin" without 'lin.'
If you don't tire of learning Jeremy Lin news, you'll want to keep track of the Linformation that Taiwan tire company Maxxis struck a deal to sponsor the Houston Rockets. Like their rival manufacturer, Maxxis is hoping for a Goodyear out of Lin. There's a more obvious brand that should've burned rubber to link itself with Houston's new PG. After all, you can't spell "Michelin" without 'lin.'
Monday, July 16, 2012
ReLINquished
So much for the source that said the Knicks would match offers made up to "one billion dollars" on Jeremy Lin. We're no accountant, but unless our calculations are off, the 3-year, $25 mill. proposed by the Rockets is nowhere near that named number. They vowed to open the vault, but in the end, they wouldn't even open their coin purse to retain Lin. The trailblazing Lin will be replaced by a former Trailblazer, Raymond Felton, who agreed to a sign-and-trade deal. The Knicks determined they'd rather spend $6.33 mill. per season on veterans Jason Kidd and Raymond Felton rather than invest in the younger Lin for $5 mill. a year. Sounds like Kidd wasn't the only one drunk making a dumb decision this weekend.
Sure, the Knicks got deeper by picking up a pair of polished pros, but they didn't think deeper about the social and cultural impact of Lin, the sports success story of 2011, and the profusion of positive press for a franchise that's been a punching bag post-Patrick Ewing. Lin's value extends far beyond the basketball court, to the far east as an Asian-American ambassador to grow the game globally. Houston, where Yao Ming once called home, is acutely aware of that, yet the Knicks are too stupid or stingy to see what - more so than who - is slipping away. With new neighbors in NYC already needling the Knicks, they just might pay for their refusal to pay for Lin.
Sure, the Knicks got deeper by picking up a pair of polished pros, but they didn't think deeper about the social and cultural impact of Lin, the sports success story of 2011, and the profusion of positive press for a franchise that's been a punching bag post-Patrick Ewing. Lin's value extends far beyond the basketball court, to the far east as an Asian-American ambassador to grow the game globally. Houston, where Yao Ming once called home, is acutely aware of that, yet the Knicks are too stupid or stingy to see what - more so than who - is slipping away. With new neighbors in NYC already needling the Knicks, they just might pay for their refusal to pay for Lin.
Monday, June 18, 2012
There Can Be Only Uno
As LeBron James and Kevin Durant hunt for hardware on the hardwood, Roy Hibbert and Jeremy Lin searched their surroundings for silly souvenirs on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The conclusion: Hibbert cheats*, knows white people on a more intimate level than Lin and is willing to pay a premium for a pooch (Lin could purchase 150 watches for the price of Hibbert's puppy). Once the prize was announced, we wondered if winning was worth it, but maybe a competition involving mad dashes does deserve mad Kardashians, scavengers in their own right (of sports stars).
*whether it's at cards or just with cards, we don't know
*whether it's at cards or just with cards, we don't know
Saturday, April 28, 2012
West Side's Story
We feel four-tunate because the playoffs commence today with a quadruple-header. Here's what we see happening in the opening round of the Western Conference:
#1 Spurs vs. #8 Jazz: People slept on the well-rested Spurs almost all season, like Jeremy Lin slumbered on sibling's and ex-Stanford student's sofas, so it's fitting they're facing a team with two z's in its name, since this series will be a snooze. Wake us when it's over. We believe the Jazz will be rudely shown the door the way Uncle Phil did with Jazz on The Fresh Prince.
#2 Thunder vs. #7 Mavericks: This season, it's as if 2011 Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki has been gun-slinging using a pea shooter - averaging his lowest ppg since '99-00 - while three-time league leader in scoring Kevin Durant has been firing a bazooka. The Mav with the most intensity wearing a jersey is Mark Cuban.
#3 Lakers vs. #6 Nuggets: Class is now in Sessions, Ramon (0 playoff appearances). Participation is part of your final grade, Andrew Bynum (8.2 ppg in 21.6 mpg in 62 career postseason contests). Where's Metta World Peace? Oh, suspended by the principal. I should've guessed. Kobe, to pass the course, you must demonstrate a willingness to pass the ball, but if your teammates miss easy shots, we can turn this into an independent study.
#4 Clippers vs. #5 Grizzlies: Beware of a bear trap, Clippers. It might take Davy Crockett to dispatch this ursine unit. One squad dunks, the other defends (fifth-fewest points allowed), guess which wins in the playoffs?
#1 Spurs vs. #8 Jazz: People slept on the well-rested Spurs almost all season, like Jeremy Lin slumbered on sibling's and ex-Stanford student's sofas, so it's fitting they're facing a team with two z's in its name, since this series will be a snooze. Wake us when it's over. We believe the Jazz will be rudely shown the door the way Uncle Phil did with Jazz on The Fresh Prince.
#2 Thunder vs. #7 Mavericks: This season, it's as if 2011 Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki has been gun-slinging using a pea shooter - averaging his lowest ppg since '99-00 - while three-time league leader in scoring Kevin Durant has been firing a bazooka. The Mav with the most intensity wearing a jersey is Mark Cuban.
#3 Lakers vs. #6 Nuggets: Class is now in Sessions, Ramon (0 playoff appearances). Participation is part of your final grade, Andrew Bynum (8.2 ppg in 21.6 mpg in 62 career postseason contests). Where's Metta World Peace? Oh, suspended by the principal. I should've guessed. Kobe, to pass the course, you must demonstrate a willingness to pass the ball, but if your teammates miss easy shots, we can turn this into an independent study.
#4 Clippers vs. #5 Grizzlies: Beware of a bear trap, Clippers. It might take Davy Crockett to dispatch this ursine unit. One squad dunks, the other defends (fifth-fewest points allowed), guess which wins in the playoffs?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Exerting Linfluence
1. We have Lincentive to head to the nearest newsstand. Time magazine released its yearly list of the 100 "Most Influential People in the World." Jeremy Lin did double duty, not only earning the honor but also penning an entry about another athlete to achieve the accolade, Tim Tebow, adding another layer to the assessment of this age being "Tebow time." That should Lindoctrinate the unLinformed. Your move, Newsweek, show some Linitiative.
2. Dear Delonte West, you're only supposed to haze rookies on your own team. The expression for an inexperienced person is "wet behind the ears" not wet between the ears.
3. Both went heavy on the lettuce: Hornets head coach Monty Williams, offered this response, when asked if he'd spoken yet with new Hornets owner Tom Benson, "I bought a Subway sandwich today and he spent $300 million." At least one of them made a prudent purchase*.
4.Dwyane Wade's beau, Gabrielle Union, may be the hottest heckler ever. Her barbs are so brash - listen for the one she shouted at senior official Dick Bavetta - that she was asked not to sit courtside anymore. She also shared with Conan O'Brien that Wade hasn't seen many major movies from the 1980s. Well, we know what he has to do on his next Day Off.
5. Houston, we have a huge problem: Less than two weeks ago,the Rockets were in the sixth spot in the Western Conference, but since then they've plummeted to 10th place, losing seven of eight and on Sunday were officially eliminated from the playoff chase by a Miami team missing two-thirds of its "tres grande." Not even North Korean rockets fail that spectacularly.
*Assuming Williams took advantage of the April BOGO special.
2. Dear Delonte West, you're only supposed to haze rookies on your own team. The expression for an inexperienced person is "wet behind the ears" not wet between the ears.
3. Both went heavy on the lettuce: Hornets head coach Monty Williams, offered this response, when asked if he'd spoken yet with new Hornets owner Tom Benson, "I bought a Subway sandwich today and he spent $300 million." At least one of them made a prudent purchase*.
4.Dwyane Wade's beau, Gabrielle Union, may be the hottest heckler ever. Her barbs are so brash - listen for the one she shouted at senior official Dick Bavetta - that she was asked not to sit courtside anymore. She also shared with Conan O'Brien that Wade hasn't seen many major movies from the 1980s. Well, we know what he has to do on his next Day Off.
5. Houston, we have a huge problem: Less than two weeks ago,the Rockets were in the sixth spot in the Western Conference, but since then they've plummeted to 10th place, losing seven of eight and on Sunday were officially eliminated from the playoff chase by a Miami team missing two-thirds of its "tres grande." Not even North Korean rockets fail that spectacularly.
*Assuming Williams took advantage of the April BOGO special.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Pop-ular Vote
Just because this blog will never win awards (unless "Least Read" is a category), doesn't mean we can't hand out accolades to others. Unlike the Chinese, we'll stop short of building a bronze statue for the honorees.
Coach of the Year: Gregg Popovich. The extra 'g' is for "great," which is what San Antonio has been under his guidance. He has the lockout figured out, winning the title last time there was one and quietly steering the Spurs to the second seed in the West. Selective sitting senior starters has been a Socratic - and successful - strategy.
Defensive Player: Dwight Howard. Serge Ibaka rocks the block, but no player changes more shots - or his mind - more than Dwight Howard. First in rebounds per game, third in rejections. Numbers don't lie, even if he does about not advocating for Stan Van to be canned.
6th Man: Lou Williams. It's a hard choice to deny James Harden, since his ppg is slightly higher than Williams, but no other player in the league leads his team in scoring while coming off the bench like Lou and, unlike Harden, he hasn't started a single game.
Most Improved: Nikola Pekovic. Jeremy Lin was positioned to win this in a Lin-dslide, but then a left knee injury ended his season early, so we penalized him for Lin-ping to the finish line. In his second season, Pekovic's minutes have doubled and he's responded by more than doubling his scoring (13.5) and rebounding averages (7.0). Bravo, man from Montenegro.
Rookie of the Year: Kyrie Irving. "Kyrie" means 'Lord' in Greek and he has fittingly been a God among mere mortals, whether it's other first-year players or his teammates. Now, he can use this honor to lord it over them.
MVP: Kobe Bryant. Last year's bestowal of it on Derrick Rose is what we'd call "Bulls-shit." The Adidas ads bragged that he was "fast" and he sure pulled a fast one on the voters. Like a pre-pubescent prince, Rose was crowned too early. Honestly, we almost gave up on the association, like Lamar Odom appears to have. While LeBron James is averaging career-highs in field goal percentage and rebounds, the Heat have cooled off considerably after the All-Star break. Rajon Rondo likely won't be mentioned, but we believe he should be in the discussion for responding to tiresome trade talks with triple-doubles. Chris Paul deserves a nod for ensuring the Clippers were worthy of the cover stories and commendation that came their way in the pre-season. Kevin Durant belongs among this consummate clique, but he has heaps of help (see: runners-up in the defensive player and 6th man categories) If there was backlash against LeBron for "The Decision" among voters, surely Dwight Howard will face some for the indecision he became synonymous with. That leaves Kobe Bryant. Saddled with a soft, strange team that sent away his steadying influence in Derek Fisher, Kobe scored enough to lead the league, while also showing he can be a sympathetic teammate. He's supported a shell-shocked Pau Gasol and a short-circuiting Andrew Bynum, not to mention brushing aside the bizarre Metta World Peace and the blunt Matt Barnes. The Lakers would be lost and much closer to last without him. He held his tongue when new coach Mike Brown benched him and Odom was dealt at a discount to the champs, so when the regular season ends in ten days, Kobe should be holding the MVP trophy.
Coach of the Year: Gregg Popovich. The extra 'g' is for "great," which is what San Antonio has been under his guidance. He has the lockout figured out, winning the title last time there was one and quietly steering the Spurs to the second seed in the West. Selective sitting senior starters has been a Socratic - and successful - strategy.
Defensive Player: Dwight Howard. Serge Ibaka rocks the block, but no player changes more shots - or his mind - more than Dwight Howard. First in rebounds per game, third in rejections. Numbers don't lie, even if he does about not advocating for Stan Van to be canned.
6th Man: Lou Williams. It's a hard choice to deny James Harden, since his ppg is slightly higher than Williams, but no other player in the league leads his team in scoring while coming off the bench like Lou and, unlike Harden, he hasn't started a single game.
Most Improved: Nikola Pekovic. Jeremy Lin was positioned to win this in a Lin-dslide, but then a left knee injury ended his season early, so we penalized him for Lin-ping to the finish line. In his second season, Pekovic's minutes have doubled and he's responded by more than doubling his scoring (13.5) and rebounding averages (7.0). Bravo, man from Montenegro.
Rookie of the Year: Kyrie Irving. "Kyrie" means 'Lord' in Greek and he has fittingly been a God among mere mortals, whether it's other first-year players or his teammates. Now, he can use this honor to lord it over them.
MVP: Kobe Bryant. Last year's bestowal of it on Derrick Rose is what we'd call "Bulls-shit." The Adidas ads bragged that he was "fast" and he sure pulled a fast one on the voters. Like a pre-pubescent prince, Rose was crowned too early. Honestly, we almost gave up on the association, like Lamar Odom appears to have. While LeBron James is averaging career-highs in field goal percentage and rebounds, the Heat have cooled off considerably after the All-Star break. Rajon Rondo likely won't be mentioned, but we believe he should be in the discussion for responding to tiresome trade talks with triple-doubles. Chris Paul deserves a nod for ensuring the Clippers were worthy of the cover stories and commendation that came their way in the pre-season. Kevin Durant belongs among this consummate clique, but he has heaps of help (see: runners-up in the defensive player and 6th man categories) If there was backlash against LeBron for "The Decision" among voters, surely Dwight Howard will face some for the indecision he became synonymous with. That leaves Kobe Bryant. Saddled with a soft, strange team that sent away his steadying influence in Derek Fisher, Kobe scored enough to lead the league, while also showing he can be a sympathetic teammate. He's supported a shell-shocked Pau Gasol and a short-circuiting Andrew Bynum, not to mention brushing aside the bizarre Metta World Peace and the blunt Matt Barnes. The Lakers would be lost and much closer to last without him. He held his tongue when new coach Mike Brown benched him and Odom was dealt at a discount to the champs, so when the regular season ends in ten days, Kobe should be holding the MVP trophy.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Streaks and Geeks
We'd like to plead temporary Linsanity, regarding our Linfautation with a certain sofa-surfing, stereotype-shattering, country-captivating Asian-American basketball player. In February, perhaps longing for love and layups, we were crushing on him* (when you don't guard your heart, a guard can find your heart); in March, opponents are crushing him and his club. Faster than a New York minute, the Knicks have come crashing down like stuntmen in Spiderman on Broadway. The Knick's road trip has turned into a road tumble, losing four straight games. They haven't won since Leap Day and need to be jump-started again. At this point, the Knicks are in full Wilson Phillips mode - trying their hardest to just "Hold On" to the last playoff spot in the East.
Linsanity was Linfectious and we were swept up - or at least Swiffered up - in the fun and puns^ of the story. We committed Linfidelity; annulling our relationship with our hometown team and ardently adopting another in the metropolis we once lived in. The city never sleeps, so it was fitting that New York was the first place to not sleep on Lin. Still, he snuck up on us stealthily, like a Linja. We wanted a Tim Tebow to call our own in the NBA (sadly, our gesture of Linbo-ing never caught on). We loved that the only bank this Harvard alum with a degree in economics was interested in making was a bank shot. The comparisons to Steve Nash are apt, in that Lin's defense is Linadequate, although he does have active hands and steals as well as a professional pickpocket. Rajon Rondo had what Ice Cube would describe as "a good day" against him, messing around and getting a triple-double, while Tony Parker was magnifique, scoring 32 points. The competition now has the CliffsNotes on half of the bookish backcourt, that's why Lin is being "lit" up. That's not to suggest Lin deserves the lion's share of the blame, since it seems the Knicks players have something in common with those on Saturday Night Live: they're not ready for prime-time. That's Linauspicious because the last thing the league desires is for the Knicks to revert to being Linsignifcant.
*Sports Illustrated did send the first issue with Lin on the cover and the annual swimsuit edition out simultaneously. Talk about boom and bust.
^Admittedly, we over-Lindulged in the wordplay.
Linsanity was Linfectious and we were swept up - or at least Swiffered up - in the fun and puns^ of the story. We committed Linfidelity; annulling our relationship with our hometown team and ardently adopting another in the metropolis we once lived in. The city never sleeps, so it was fitting that New York was the first place to not sleep on Lin. Still, he snuck up on us stealthily, like a Linja. We wanted a Tim Tebow to call our own in the NBA (sadly, our gesture of Linbo-ing never caught on). We loved that the only bank this Harvard alum with a degree in economics was interested in making was a bank shot. The comparisons to Steve Nash are apt, in that Lin's defense is Linadequate, although he does have active hands and steals as well as a professional pickpocket. Rajon Rondo had what Ice Cube would describe as "a good day" against him, messing around and getting a triple-double, while Tony Parker was magnifique, scoring 32 points. The competition now has the CliffsNotes on half of the bookish backcourt, that's why Lin is being "lit" up. That's not to suggest Lin deserves the lion's share of the blame, since it seems the Knicks players have something in common with those on Saturday Night Live: they're not ready for prime-time. That's Linauspicious because the last thing the league desires is for the Knicks to revert to being Linsignifcant.
*Sports Illustrated did send the first issue with Lin on the cover and the annual swimsuit edition out simultaneously. Talk about boom and bust.
^Admittedly, we over-Lindulged in the wordplay.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Digging a (Doughnut) Hole to China
LeBron James wasn't interested in dunking in the recent All-Star event, but it seems Dunkin' is interested in him. In what we're calling "The Doughcision," Dunkin' Donuts has signed LeBron to an endorsement contract to promote its products in Asia, specifically China, where the company currently operates 150 stores and plans to open approximately 100 more within the next three years, on top of the 5,400 locations throughout the continent, generating some serious cha-ching in Beijing and beyond. LeBron's duties will include appearing in stores; for an entrance maybe he can toss powdered sugar in the air, instead of his usual talcum powder. He won't just declare eclairs delicious because the menu varies by region and pork doughnuts are among the choices in China - why not introduce this item in the U.S., where people are prone to pig out? We can't help but be jealous that all Americans have is jelly and the doughnut burger - aka the only reason to ever attend a minor league baseball game.
If Krispy Kreme is considering countering, we recommend recruiting Jeremy Lin to sell sweets stateside, since he's the only thing hotter than a glazed doughnut fresh off the assembly line (and Krispy Kreme can advise him on the dangers of getting too big, too fast). The more obvious choice to us - at least based on appellation and applying the Radio Shack enlisting Shaq as a spokesman method - would've been Tim Duncan, but maybe he can reach a deal with Tim Horton's. After all, Canadians need their crullers, too*.
*Bonus points for being pitched by a mild-mannered man. Our neighbors to the north like both their personalities and pastries plain.
If Krispy Kreme is considering countering, we recommend recruiting Jeremy Lin to sell sweets stateside, since he's the only thing hotter than a glazed doughnut fresh off the assembly line (and Krispy Kreme can advise him on the dangers of getting too big, too fast). The more obvious choice to us - at least based on appellation and applying the Radio Shack enlisting Shaq as a spokesman method - would've been Tim Duncan, but maybe he can reach a deal with Tim Horton's. After all, Canadians need their crullers, too*.
*Bonus points for being pitched by a mild-mannered man. Our neighbors to the north like both their personalities and pastries plain.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Few Min for Lin
If you saw the celebrity game, which kicks off All-Star weekend, and expected to see stars, you feel cheated (ironically, Common is one of the more famous folks). If you took in the Rising Stars game that followed on Friday night, you feel similarly swindled. Jeremy Lin played under 9 minutes, which was less than any of the other 18 rookies and sophomores who participated. Blake Griffin played a tick over 10.5, meaning the two most popular players people were tuning in to watch spent the least amount of time on the floor, which floored us. At least Griffin gets to showcase his skills in the All-Star game as well, so resting him was somewhat reasonable - although it's not as if there's any expectations on defense during these exhibitions - but there is no acceptable explanation for making an exception by including Lin late and then burying him on the bench. He did hoist a lovely lob to Griffin early on; who knew that would be his only highlight of the night? If this is Lin's 15 minutes of fame, we want him to at least be granted 15 minutes of playing time.
The All-Star game will be on at the same time as the 84th Academy Awards. We know those audiences likely don't have much overlap, but moving the game back to the late afternoon when it used to be broadcast (and on a national network, instead of cable where far fewer eyeballs will gaze at it) would've eliminated the conflict, thus not forcing viewers to choose between Moneyball and basketball. For us, it's no contest; the only Oscar we're familiar with is Robertson (well, and the Grouch).
The All-Star game will be on at the same time as the 84th Academy Awards. We know those audiences likely don't have much overlap, but moving the game back to the late afternoon when it used to be broadcast (and on a national network, instead of cable where far fewer eyeballs will gaze at it) would've eliminated the conflict, thus not forcing viewers to choose between Moneyball and basketball. For us, it's no contest; the only Oscar we're familiar with is Robertson (well, and the Grouch).
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Most Linteresting Man in the World
After playing in two nationally televised games (with mixed results) and an array of articles about the once mysterious man, you may think you know who Jeremy Lin is. Well, think again. Then, think a third time and you'll be ready for our profile.
Favorite food: Linguine
Celebrity crush: Lindsay Lohan (in the '90s it was Lindy Crawford)
Favorite comic strip character: Linus from Charlie Brown
Favorite comic book character: The Lincredible Hulk
Favorite operating system: Linux*
Favorite video game console: Lintendo
Favorite video game character: Link from Zelda
Favorite TV game show: Whose Lin is it, Anyway?
Favorite current TV show: Diners, Drive-Lins and Dives
Favorite classic movie: Rear Lindow
Favorite contemporary movie: Lin Time
Favorite store: Linens 'n Things
Favorite U.S. city: Lincoln, Nebraska
Favorite Canadian city: Linnipeg, Manitoba
Favorite state (tie): North CaroLina and South CaroLina
Favorite foreign country: Lindonesia
Favorite place to visit in NYC: the Statue of Linberty
Favorite school subject: Linguistics
Favorite U.S. president: William McLinley^
Favorite quote: "Now is the Linter of our discontent." - Shakespeare
Favorite band: Linkin Park
Favorite book: The Linvisible Man
Favorite animal: the lynx because it's so linber#.
*Thought it would be Lindows 7, didn't you?
^Abraham Lincoln was too obvious for an man of his Lintellect, who has an appreciation for our overlooked 25th Commander-in-Chief.
#You wondered how we would fit in that final Lin pun. It felt forced, like Spike Lee wearing Lin's Harvard jersey.
Favorite food: Linguine
Celebrity crush: Lindsay Lohan (in the '90s it was Lindy Crawford)
Favorite comic strip character: Linus from Charlie Brown
Favorite comic book character: The Lincredible Hulk
Favorite operating system: Linux*
Favorite video game console: Lintendo
Favorite video game character: Link from Zelda
Favorite TV game show: Whose Lin is it, Anyway?
Favorite current TV show: Diners, Drive-Lins and Dives
Favorite classic movie: Rear Lindow
Favorite contemporary movie: Lin Time
Favorite store: Linens 'n Things
Favorite U.S. city: Lincoln, Nebraska
Favorite Canadian city: Linnipeg, Manitoba
Favorite state (tie): North CaroLina and South CaroLina
Favorite foreign country: Lindonesia
Favorite place to visit in NYC: the Statue of Linberty
Favorite school subject: Linguistics
Favorite U.S. president: William McLinley^
Favorite quote: "Now is the Linter of our discontent." - Shakespeare
Favorite band: Linkin Park
Favorite book: The Linvisible Man
Favorite animal: the lynx because it's so linber#.
*Thought it would be Lindows 7, didn't you?
^Abraham Lincoln was too obvious for an man of his Lintellect, who has an appreciation for our overlooked 25th Commander-in-Chief.
#You wondered how we would fit in that final Lin pun. It felt forced, like Spike Lee wearing Lin's Harvard jersey.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Look What the Bobcats Dragged In
It appears Michael Jordan's sports birthday wish came true (no, not the one where he's a scratch golfer or the one where he's a .300 hitter). The day he celebrated his 49th year on Earth, the owner of the blighted Bobcats saw his team's distinctly unsweet 16-game slide mercifully expire. Game on in Ontario for first-year player Bismack Biyombo, who tallied career-highs in rebounds (13) and blocks (7) against the Raptors. Rookie Kemba Walker, who scored 14 points, said, "It's been awhile (more than a month, as we pointed out in the previous post). We're overdue." Yup, like a late library book.
Unfortunately, as all awful things eventually end, so too do all awesome things, and we must mournfully mention that the Knicks Lin streak is over. Unexpectedly, New York lost at home to the horrid Hornets, owners of the second-worst record in the league, but it wasn't because of a poor performance from Lin. He tied a game-high with 26 points (Amare Stoudemire also scored 26) and added four steals and 5 assists, although he did turn the ball over 9 times. Coach Mike D'Antoni went with a tight 8-man rotation and Lin's teammates were of almost no assistance; Tyson Chandler was the only other Knick to reach double-digits , with 10 points. Contrast that with the Hornets, who had every starter score 12 or more points. We're not Linconsolable about the loss, but we are coming around to the concept that he's not Linvincible after all.
If Carmelo is still sidelined on Sunday, the Knicks might be Lincapable of defeating the Mavs, who are riding a six-game winning streak (second to the Spurs), after erasing a 15-point deficit on the road against the steady 76ers, holding Philly to a stingy 8 points in the third quarter (Dirk Nowitzki made 5 baskets in the third; the Sixers team, 4).
Finally, the third time was the charm for LeBron, as in his contrite third trip back to his old club he amassed a game-high 28 points in just 30 minutes of work, as the Heat burned the Cavs. You could say he put on a clinic in Cleveland. Lin has been the man in Manhattan, but Friday James reminded us why he's the King.
Unfortunately, as all awful things eventually end, so too do all awesome things, and we must mournfully mention that the Knicks Lin streak is over. Unexpectedly, New York lost at home to the horrid Hornets, owners of the second-worst record in the league, but it wasn't because of a poor performance from Lin. He tied a game-high with 26 points (Amare Stoudemire also scored 26) and added four steals and 5 assists, although he did turn the ball over 9 times. Coach Mike D'Antoni went with a tight 8-man rotation and Lin's teammates were of almost no assistance; Tyson Chandler was the only other Knick to reach double-digits , with 10 points. Contrast that with the Hornets, who had every starter score 12 or more points. We're not Linconsolable about the loss, but we are coming around to the concept that he's not Linvincible after all.
If Carmelo is still sidelined on Sunday, the Knicks might be Lincapable of defeating the Mavs, who are riding a six-game winning streak (second to the Spurs), after erasing a 15-point deficit on the road against the steady 76ers, holding Philly to a stingy 8 points in the third quarter (Dirk Nowitzki made 5 baskets in the third; the Sixers team, 4).
Finally, the third time was the charm for LeBron, as in his contrite third trip back to his old club he amassed a game-high 28 points in just 30 minutes of work, as the Heat burned the Cavs. You could say he put on a clinic in Cleveland. Lin has been the man in Manhattan, but Friday James reminded us why he's the King.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Making HeadLINes
Here's what you might've missed while watching the Lincomparable Jeremy Lin record a career-high 13 assists in leading the Knicks to their season-best 7th consecutive win:
The Spurs stretched out the league's longest winning streak to nine games, but they understand why the spotlight is shining elsewhere. "There's no bigger story than Jeremy Lin right now. I'm happy for him. [...] You want him to make every shot," said
Tony Parker, who torched Toronto for 34 points and 14 assists. Manu Ginobli, in his third game back after missing a month due to a broken hand, had 11 points and was equally gracious about the Linsation sweeping the nation, "I think New York deserves all the attention [...] They draw attention from me: The New York game finishes and I go to see what they did."
Meanwhile, the Bobcats are playing like a bunch of pussies. The return of D.J. Augustin wasn't enough to prevent Charlotte from falling for the 16th straight time. Paul Silas couldn't even pronounce the name of a player who pushed them around, Nikola Pekovic (he called him "Pep-a-vich" in his post-game comments), who posted 21 points and 11 rebounds. Cat got his tongue, perhaps? The Bobcats haven't won in over a month (their last victory was January 14). Their seasons is officially a catastrophe.
Elsewhere, Kyrie Irving returned from a concussion and scored a game-high 22 as the Cavs beat the Pacers; Kevin Martin recovered from his first scoreless game since his rookie season to pour in 32 points and help the Rockets hang on at home against the Thunder; and Ryan Anderson rained threes, connecting on 7 of 10 attempts, in the Magic's win over the 76ers. Anderson leads the NBA in three-pointers made, yet after the game, crabby coach Stan Van Gundy criticized Anderson for his lack of rebounds.
Lest we forget to Linform you, on Sunday, Lin and the Knicks will appear in a nationally televised game against the defending champion Mavericks on ABC at 1 p.m. If Obama is following him (the President loves a well-executed bailout), you should be too.
The Spurs stretched out the league's longest winning streak to nine games, but they understand why the spotlight is shining elsewhere. "There's no bigger story than Jeremy Lin right now. I'm happy for him. [...] You want him to make every shot," said
Tony Parker, who torched Toronto for 34 points and 14 assists. Manu Ginobli, in his third game back after missing a month due to a broken hand, had 11 points and was equally gracious about the Linsation sweeping the nation, "I think New York deserves all the attention [...] They draw attention from me: The New York game finishes and I go to see what they did."
Meanwhile, the Bobcats are playing like a bunch of pussies. The return of D.J. Augustin wasn't enough to prevent Charlotte from falling for the 16th straight time. Paul Silas couldn't even pronounce the name of a player who pushed them around, Nikola Pekovic (he called him "Pep-a-vich" in his post-game comments), who posted 21 points and 11 rebounds. Cat got his tongue, perhaps? The Bobcats haven't won in over a month (their last victory was January 14). Their seasons is officially a catastrophe.
Elsewhere, Kyrie Irving returned from a concussion and scored a game-high 22 as the Cavs beat the Pacers; Kevin Martin recovered from his first scoreless game since his rookie season to pour in 32 points and help the Rockets hang on at home against the Thunder; and Ryan Anderson rained threes, connecting on 7 of 10 attempts, in the Magic's win over the 76ers. Anderson leads the NBA in three-pointers made, yet after the game, crabby coach Stan Van Gundy criticized Anderson for his lack of rebounds.
Lest we forget to Linform you, on Sunday, Lin and the Knicks will appear in a nationally televised game against the defending champion Mavericks on ABC at 1 p.m. If Obama is following him (the President loves a well-executed bailout), you should be too.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Bromantic Gesture
Q: What did we get our sweetheart for Valentine's Day?
A: Why, LINgerie, of course!*
Q: Is that all?
A: Nope, we also bought her a dozen Derrick Roses.
*And by LINgerie, we mean a Jeremy Lin jersey. Even if she breaks up with us, we're confident she'll give the jersey back, so at least we'll have a gift to console ourselves with.
A: Why, LINgerie, of course!*
Q: Is that all?
A: Nope, we also bought her a dozen Derrick Roses.
*And by LINgerie, we mean a Jeremy Lin jersey. Even if she breaks up with us, we're confident she'll give the jersey back, so at least we'll have a gift to console ourselves with.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Waiting for an Linvitation
There is a glaring omission from Rising Stars Challenge (formerly known as the Rookie-Sophomore game) on February 24, which pits first and second-year players against each other: Five-game phenom Jeremy Lin. He's an overnight sensation, but he can not - and should not - be overlooked, when the NBA's best convene in Orlando in 11 days. The league must find a way to Linclude him.
Celebrity coaches Shaq and Charles Barkley, never shy about sharing their opinions, need to lobby on Lin's behalf. As does his Knicks teammate and participant (and study buddy) Landry Fields. No one will tune in to see Tiago Splitter or Gordon Hayward, to name two of the second-year players selected, but fans would watch to see Lin square off against John Wall again or Ricky Rubio for a second time or take on rookie of the year front-runner Kyrie Irving. What fan wouldn't be excited by the prospect of Lin lobbing to Blake Griffin? And with Griffin wavering on whether he'll defend his dunk title, the NBA could use another player people passionately pay attention to.
Lin doesn't just prompt fans to rise from their seats, he fills seats, too. He helped sell out a T-Wolves game on the road, giving Minnesota its largest crowd since 2004, so the stands in Orlando would likely be at capacity for a secondary contest. Lin has scored more points in his first four starts than an player since the NBA-ABA merger in 1976. The league must find a way to Lincorporate him in the All-Star Weekend festivities. We don't want to see him on camera, we want to see him on the court If it's asking too much to place him in a game in which the participants have already been determined, at least Linsert him into the Skills Challenge competition. Maybe we've gone Linsane in the membrane, but we'd watch him criss-cross dribble through cones and bounce pass into buckets and be curious to compare how well he does it with Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook.
Adding Lin doesn't even have to come at the expense of removing another player from the Rising Stars roster; make an exception for a player who lately has been as exceptional as anyone in the league. David Stern, extend an invite, we Linsist.
Celebrity coaches Shaq and Charles Barkley, never shy about sharing their opinions, need to lobby on Lin's behalf. As does his Knicks teammate and participant (and study buddy) Landry Fields. No one will tune in to see Tiago Splitter or Gordon Hayward, to name two of the second-year players selected, but fans would watch to see Lin square off against John Wall again or Ricky Rubio for a second time or take on rookie of the year front-runner Kyrie Irving. What fan wouldn't be excited by the prospect of Lin lobbing to Blake Griffin? And with Griffin wavering on whether he'll defend his dunk title, the NBA could use another player people passionately pay attention to.
Lin doesn't just prompt fans to rise from their seats, he fills seats, too. He helped sell out a T-Wolves game on the road, giving Minnesota its largest crowd since 2004, so the stands in Orlando would likely be at capacity for a secondary contest. Lin has scored more points in his first four starts than an player since the NBA-ABA merger in 1976. The league must find a way to Lincorporate him in the All-Star Weekend festivities. We don't want to see him on camera, we want to see him on the court If it's asking too much to place him in a game in which the participants have already been determined, at least Linsert him into the Skills Challenge competition. Maybe we've gone Linsane in the membrane, but we'd watch him criss-cross dribble through cones and bounce pass into buckets and be curious to compare how well he does it with Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook.
Adding Lin doesn't even have to come at the expense of removing another player from the Rising Stars roster; make an exception for a player who lately has been as exceptional as anyone in the league. David Stern, extend an invite, we Linsist.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Put Him Lin, Coach
A Harvard-educated Asian-American has been making an impact for an NBA franchise - not as an executive, but as a player. Undrafted second-year guard Jeremy Lin, plucked off of waivers from Houston has become a big deal in the Big Apple, navigating the nicked-up Knicks to three straight wins, two without Carmelo and Amare. He's put the 'lin' in "linchpin," holding the team together in a turbulent time, while providing jaded Knicks fans something to be jubilant about. 25 points and 7 assists off the bench against the Nets was enough to earn him a start and Lin responded with an even better effort: 28 and 8. Since third time's the charm, Lin then went toe-to-toe with last year's number one overall pick, John Wall, and posted a double-double, with 23 and 10. Lin's shot selection was savvier than Wall's (9-14, compared to 12-21), so maybe he deserves his own dance - although he does have a special, scholarly handshake with Landry Fields.
Mike D'Antoni, who admitted he was "afraid" to play Lin, is on the hot seat, so he might as well stick with the hot hand, making sure to shake it as thanks, should it save his job. "I'm riding him like Secretariat," D'Antoni said after Lin's first start. There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Lin's already joined the lofty likes of LeBron, in becoming the lone player since King James in 2003 to score 20-plus points and dish out 8 or more assists in his first two starts.
In a word, he's been Lincredible.
It's been a wild, wonderful week for Lin and it'll be capped by a prime time national showcase at home against the Lakers. His highest scoring game as a rookie (13 points) with Golden State came against the Lakers and his matchup is favorable, as should have no trouble flying by the fossil known as Derek Fisher or breaking down backup Steve Blake. So, "Linsanity," as his ascent has been dubbed, should Lin-ger.
Lin is living out his dream - except the whole crashing on his brother's couch part - and in case your dream is to attend his alma mater, he's helpfully produced a guide to gaining acceptance. We always suspected our small spectacles were holding us back. Thanks for reminding us the path to success isn't always a Lin-ear one.
Mike D'Antoni, who admitted he was "afraid" to play Lin, is on the hot seat, so he might as well stick with the hot hand, making sure to shake it as thanks, should it save his job. "I'm riding him like Secretariat," D'Antoni said after Lin's first start. There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Lin's already joined the lofty likes of LeBron, in becoming the lone player since King James in 2003 to score 20-plus points and dish out 8 or more assists in his first two starts.
In a word, he's been Lincredible.
It's been a wild, wonderful week for Lin and it'll be capped by a prime time national showcase at home against the Lakers. His highest scoring game as a rookie (13 points) with Golden State came against the Lakers and his matchup is favorable, as should have no trouble flying by the fossil known as Derek Fisher or breaking down backup Steve Blake. So, "Linsanity," as his ascent has been dubbed, should Lin-ger.
Lin is living out his dream - except the whole crashing on his brother's couch part - and in case your dream is to attend his alma mater, he's helpfully produced a guide to gaining acceptance. We always suspected our small spectacles were holding us back. Thanks for reminding us the path to success isn't always a Lin-ear one.
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