Exerting Linfluence

1. We have Lincentive to head to the nearest newsstand. Time magazine released its yearly list of the 100 "Most Influential People in the World." Jeremy Lin did double duty, not only earning the honor but also penning an entry about another athlete to achieve the accolade, Tim Tebow, adding another layer to the assessment of this age being "Tebow time." That should Lindoctrinate the unLinformed. Your move, Newsweek, show some Linitiative.

2. Dear Delonte West, you're only supposed to haze rookies on your own team. The expression for an inexperienced person is "wet behind the ears" not wet between the ears.

3. Both went heavy on the lettuce: Hornets head coach Monty Williams, offered this response, when asked if he'd spoken yet with new Hornets owner Tom Benson, "I bought a Subway sandwich today and he spent $300 million." At least one of them made a prudent purchase*.

4.Dwyane Wade's beau, Gabrielle Union, may be the hottest heckler ever. Her barbs are so brash - listen for the one she shouted at senior official Dick Bavetta - that she was asked not to sit courtside anymore. She also shared with Conan O'Brien that Wade hasn't seen many major movies from the 1980s. Well, we know what he has to do on his next Day Off.

5. Houston, we have a huge problem: Less than two weeks ago,the Rockets were in the sixth spot in the Western Conference, but since then they've plummeted to 10th place, losing seven of eight and on Sunday were officially eliminated from the playoff chase by a Miami team missing two-thirds of its "tres grande." Not even North Korean rockets fail that spectacularly.

*Assuming Williams took advantage of the April BOGO special.

Getting Things Off Our Chess*

This stalemate is growing stale, mate. Stop trying to be Bobby Fischer, Derek Fisher. The only gambit we like is in X-Men, so can someone please inform us if the endgame is near? With only two months until the regular season is scheduled to start, management and labor met yesterday for just the second time since the lockout began, for another woefully short session (six hours).Someone should tell them 30 Minutes or Less is a movie, not a mediating motto. Although maybe strapping a bomb to Jesse Eisenberg and making him march into NBA headquarters would speed up a settlement. The sides can't afford to wait another month to meet or merely go through the motions negotiating, since training camp is slated to open one month from today.

Both parties need to make concessions. Players are overpaid. There's no escaping that when the evidence is right in front of our eyes. Rashard Lewis had the second-highest salary last season at $20.5 million. The likes of the often-injury and ineffective Andrei Kirilenko, Vince Carter, Kenyon Martin, Michael Redd and Peja Stojakovic all made well north of $15 mill. Remember, that's guaranteed money. Now this is largely the owners' fault, since the player don't overpay themselves.

But if the league is really in flux financially, why were there buyers willing to snatch up the Sixers and Hawks, two teams with dismal attendance, when the new owners can't even be certain when their franchises next games will be? In fact, Sixers sold for more than double the price they were purchased for 15 years ago (they went for $130 mill. in 1996 and $280 this July). Seems like a valuable asset to us, despite the commissioner's claims to the contrary.

Maybe there's no sense of urgency because players have all manner of options overseas now and owners will still be rich, regardless (just not as rich). Popularity was peaking, but fans can't be converted into pawns, to be emotionally manipulated. Ratings don't magically re-appear when a person or product does. Ask Conan O'Brien. If chess is corrupted, we can move on to the Chinese counterpart, Xiangqi, just as players like Wilson Chandler, can move on to China's pro hoops equivalent. And if owners prevent pro basketball from being played, we'll follow the college version. This isn't about checkmating an opponent, it's about both sides being willing to split the check. If this drags on without a resolution, don't count on fans feeling Deep Blue about it.

*While we respect the recreation, the most important Grandmaster is still Flash.