It was fitting that around the same time NASA shuttered its space shuttle program, the largest Rocket of all chose to ground himself for good. After fighting a losing battle with innumerable injuries, Yao made the difficult decision to retire, several months shy of his 30th birthday*. As one of the tallest to ever play in the NBA, he reached heights fellow giants Shawn Bradley, Gheorghe Muresan and the late Manute Bol never did (to be fair, he was more well-prepared through extensive training than any of those men - and also more talented).
Yao didn't make anyone in Houston forget Hakeem Olajuwon (Yao wasn't "The Dream," more of a favorable fantasy), but he held his own against his peers in the pivot. He could've wound up a punchline, but because of his persistence, became a perennial All-Star - although some of his selections were the result of popularity more than performance (to counter the perception that it was the fans inflating his worth, he was named to the All-NBA team 5 times, which is voted on by members of the media, but never the first team). Big men with raw potential enter the league every year; Yao was the rare center who fulfilled his. His footwork ensured he was more than a footnote in NBA history, like Wang Zhizhi.
If any aspect of his career was disappointing, besides the seemingly infinite injuries and the lack of postseason success (Yao only made the second round of the playoffs once), it was where he elected to deliver the news of his retirement: in China. The Rockets GM was the only person present and he had to ask permission to attend the press conference. Maybe Yao did that because he made a larger impression there than he did here. After all, he introduced the league to millions of Chinese, in the process growing the game globally more than any player before him (and probably more than any single person in the future can, unless we see an Indian-born baller). We're certain the relative ease of his transition has influenced players to ponder going overseas during the lockout, even if they're unfamiliar with the culture and language. Maybe he felt an obligation to his own people (he's already bought his old team, the Shanghai Sharks, to save them from folding) to say goodbye in front of them. Or maybe the shy seven-footer was once again avoiding the American spotlight that he has ducked as best he could since 2002 (still, he relented enough to co-author an autobiography and agree to a documentary).
It took a player with an enormous wingspan to stretch across continents and pull in new fans to basketball, which he did with his play, not his personality. Yao was determined to be a star, not a sideshow. For his role as an ambassador, Yao deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame. Yao Ming, just like a piece of art from the actual Ming dynasty, was fragile, priceless and a sight to behold.
*This depresses us to no end, being very close to our 30th birthday as well. The only way we'd be headed downhill faster is if we were on skis.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
No Game Hunter
In a discouraging divination, players association executive director Billy Hunter doesn't foresee a 2011-12 season taking place, saying the squabbling sides are "$800 million apart per year," a Shaq-sized gap (maybe in his retirement, the conciliatory center can remake himself as "The Big Arbiter"). Hunter blames obstinate new owners, who he alleges are holding David Stern's "feet to the fire." Make no mistake, if an entire season is lost, the flames from this fire will spread far and wide, burning all bodies involved -- be they owners, players, union reps or the commissioner. We want to follow the Trailblazers, not follow the trail of a destructive blaze. Both sides have thrown kindling into this bonfire of the greedy*.
Unlike during the NFL's work stoppage, players' testiness hasn't manifested itself in truculent Tweets (unless Gilbert Arenas dissing his dates counts), but they have become belligerent while balling. Matt Barnes punched a player in a pickup game (and wasn't ejected), while Michael Beasley took temper troubles to another level by shoving a spectator. In separate youth camps they conduct, footage surfaced of LeBron James forcefully throwing down on a teen, while Dwyane Wade was spotted blocking layup attempts of kids several feet shorter than him, compelling us to pose the question: Are these guys teaching or terrorizing those tykes? We're not sure what Ron Artest is up to at the moment, but there could be money to be made by the mental health advocate in founding a counseling camp for his peers. Right now, locked-out players lashing out against those around them appears to be all the rage.
* or the electric gatorade acid test, for you Tom Wolfe fans
Unlike during the NFL's work stoppage, players' testiness hasn't manifested itself in truculent Tweets (unless Gilbert Arenas dissing his dates counts), but they have become belligerent while balling. Matt Barnes punched a player in a pickup game (and wasn't ejected), while Michael Beasley took temper troubles to another level by shoving a spectator. In separate youth camps they conduct, footage surfaced of LeBron James forcefully throwing down on a teen, while Dwyane Wade was spotted blocking layup attempts of kids several feet shorter than him, compelling us to pose the question: Are these guys teaching or terrorizing those tykes? We're not sure what Ron Artest is up to at the moment, but there could be money to be made by the mental health advocate in founding a counseling camp for his peers. Right now, locked-out players lashing out against those around them appears to be all the rage.
* or the electric gatorade acid test, for you Tom Wolfe fans
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Rucker and Ruckus*
This is what happens when you slash the summer league, David Stern. Kevin Durant drifts far from his Midwestern home onto the hallowed ground of Harlem's Rucker Park in search of a place to play the game he loves. The two-time reigning scoring champion poured in 66 points there on Monday, proving he's comfortable on a court whether it's indoors or outside. For an encore, he posted 41 the next night at a college gym in Manhattan (that contest featured another 60+ point-performance, so we're guessing these games took the All-Star Weekend approach to defense). Still, the lockout needs to end before superstars start signing up for Slamball squads (yes, it's still around; in fact, 20,000 people on Facebook "like" it^).
Meanwhile, LeBron is so bored he takes to tweeting about Tim Tebow (and the media is so starved for stories they cover LeBron's comments as if they're noteworthy news -- for the record, journalists, Twitter is a medium dedicated to sharing your unvarnished opinion, and LeBron's, especially by athletes' standards, was tame and tasteful), sticking up for maybe the only true golden boy (in the fans' eyes) left in professional sports, after criticism from the oft-concussed and seldom-sensible ESPN analyst Merril Hoge, who thought being a scrub running back qualified him to be an expert on evaluating what it takes to be a successful quarterback in the NFL. We don't have a religious reason for backing Tebow, like a legion of his backers, but after three starts on a terrible team in which he fared fine for a rookie QB, the jury is out on Tebow, so for Hoge to conclusively state that Tebow isn't equipped play now or possibly ever, is both incorrect (the stats don't support his argument) and idiotic.
If David Stern, who haughtily didn't even bother returning to the negotiating table until the start of August (and them arrogantly accused the players of not being serious about engaging in talks), would concentrate less on playing hardball, maybe the league he runs could get back to playing basketball, so we wouldn't have to discuss playing football (although Nate Robinson is relieved that at least one lockout is over).
* Sorry to all you Hootie and the Blowfish fans who thought this post was about Darius Rucker.
^That might be more people than "like" the WNBA -- by several thousand.
Meanwhile, LeBron is so bored he takes to tweeting about Tim Tebow (and the media is so starved for stories they cover LeBron's comments as if they're noteworthy news -- for the record, journalists, Twitter is a medium dedicated to sharing your unvarnished opinion, and LeBron's, especially by athletes' standards, was tame and tasteful), sticking up for maybe the only true golden boy (in the fans' eyes) left in professional sports, after criticism from the oft-concussed and seldom-sensible ESPN analyst Merril Hoge, who thought being a scrub running back qualified him to be an expert on evaluating what it takes to be a successful quarterback in the NFL. We don't have a religious reason for backing Tebow, like a legion of his backers, but after three starts on a terrible team in which he fared fine for a rookie QB, the jury is out on Tebow, so for Hoge to conclusively state that Tebow isn't equipped play now or possibly ever, is both incorrect (the stats don't support his argument) and idiotic.
If David Stern, who haughtily didn't even bother returning to the negotiating table until the start of August (and them arrogantly accused the players of not being serious about engaging in talks), would concentrate less on playing hardball, maybe the league he runs could get back to playing basketball, so we wouldn't have to discuss playing football (although Nate Robinson is relieved that at least one lockout is over).
* Sorry to all you Hootie and the Blowfish fans who thought this post was about Darius Rucker.
^That might be more people than "like" the WNBA -- by several thousand.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Migrate Idea
Deron Williams is choosing to go down the road once defiantly trodden by Allen Iverson, only he's trekking to Turkey in the prime of his career (some people will do anything to avoid remaining in New Jersey*), not at the tail end, like Iverson, who burned more bridges than an architect-turned-arsonist. Although Turkey embraced Iverson upon his arrival, he wasn't willing to hug back, because he headed home extremely early, playing in a handful of games before returning stateside, claiming a mysterious injury, all of this relayed through his manager. The experiment, involving the volitile element known as "AI," exploded. Williams seemed unstable and ill-at-ease all last season, so his country crossing could be combustible, too.
Williams won't be alone in his world walkabout. Perrenial all-stars Amar'e Stoudemire, Dwight Howard and Kevin Durant have all expressed curiosity ("interest" is a strong word in this case) in playing overseas. However, if you think it's for the love of the game or even the paycheck, that's a load of Istanbulshit. Primarily, it's posturing; players using the only bargaining chip they have, a scare tactic that won't work against the unshakeable David Stern, who won't blink until a big name bolts. For now, at least, Turkey is a game of chicken.
NBA players tend to be creatures of habit, who struggle outside of their comfort zone. Kobe, having spent his formative years in Italy and being fluent in multiple languages, is the exception to the rule. He is cultured and that has always isolated him to an extent in the NBA (his aloof personality hasn't helped). Williams' new club, Besiktas, has been making overtures to Kobe -- and officially met with him on Saturday. With Bryant displeased that he wasn't even consulted about the Lakers coaching hire and the international governing body of basketball, FIBA, giving its blessing for players to present their passports, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that Kobe's lone wolf mentality could take over, causing him to accept Besiktas' offer. Consider: he already serves as spokesman for Turkish Airlines, so his flights should be free.
The NBA isn't comfortable with making traveling calls and similarly, players will be hesitant to make the call to travel. However, if Kobe elects to drop anchor in Ankara, Stern's would more than blink, he'd probably remove his glasses and rub his eyes in disbelief and aggravation. All things considered, Turkey could be the key to ending the lockout.
*We can definitley relate
Williams won't be alone in his world walkabout. Perrenial all-stars Amar'e Stoudemire, Dwight Howard and Kevin Durant have all expressed curiosity ("interest" is a strong word in this case) in playing overseas. However, if you think it's for the love of the game or even the paycheck, that's a load of Istanbulshit. Primarily, it's posturing; players using the only bargaining chip they have, a scare tactic that won't work against the unshakeable David Stern, who won't blink until a big name bolts. For now, at least, Turkey is a game of chicken.
NBA players tend to be creatures of habit, who struggle outside of their comfort zone. Kobe, having spent his formative years in Italy and being fluent in multiple languages, is the exception to the rule. He is cultured and that has always isolated him to an extent in the NBA (his aloof personality hasn't helped). Williams' new club, Besiktas, has been making overtures to Kobe -- and officially met with him on Saturday. With Bryant displeased that he wasn't even consulted about the Lakers coaching hire and the international governing body of basketball, FIBA, giving its blessing for players to present their passports, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that Kobe's lone wolf mentality could take over, causing him to accept Besiktas' offer. Consider: he already serves as spokesman for Turkish Airlines, so his flights should be free.
The NBA isn't comfortable with making traveling calls and similarly, players will be hesitant to make the call to travel. However, if Kobe elects to drop anchor in Ankara, Stern's would more than blink, he'd probably remove his glasses and rub his eyes in disbelief and aggravation. All things considered, Turkey could be the key to ending the lockout.
*We can definitley relate
Friday, July 1, 2011
Mama Said Lock You Out
Management and labor put forth so little effort Thursday in negotiations (it reminded us of LeBron in the 4th quarter of the Finals) that by mid-day they ceased meeting. They didn't work until the wee hours; they didn't even work until happy hour. Why bother seeking a resolution when all that's at stake is saving a season and a product at its peak? Neither party are compromisers, just misers, hell-bent on hoarding the wealth they've accumulated. For people so rich, they exhibit poor judgment in letting their agreement lapse and wasting an opportunity to outshine the NFL through a swift and scrupulous settlement. But no one wanted to put on their thinking caps when it came to concessions on the salary cap, so they all deserve dunce caps. It was already going to be a cruel summer with the Las Vegas league canceled, where betting and basketball blend as in a Tim Donaghy fantasy. Like Kobe's silence towards Mike Brown, we've developed lockout lockjaw. The only CBA we care to discuss is the Continental Basketball Association. In our eyes, a locked out league has about as much life in it as a defunct one.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Slamming Pumpkins
Barring a last-minute miracle in negotiations on Thursday -- and the sides don't seem serious about getting a deal in place before July 1 -- since they declined to meet today, the NBA is headed for a work stoppage. Still, David Stern said the owners haven't voted to begin the lockout after the agreement expires, so it's possible the deadline could be extended if talks tomorrow are productive. Stranger things have happened this week, such as Ron Artest, channeling his inner World B. Free, filing paperwork in Los Angeles to legally change his name to "Metta World Peace ('Metta meaning "loving kindness in Pali, not the more apt meta that far better represents Artest)." Three thoughts: 1. Was Maitri Global Harmony already taken? 2. Was Chad Ochocinco consulted at any point? 3. Oh, Artest, gentle soul that he is, wasn't trying to clobber J.J. Barea, he was attempting to hug Barea's face with his open hand and extended arm.
And he's not the only Laker out of his gourd. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar made a video of himself dunking a pumpkin to promote the Smashing Pumpkin's new album. No, this isn't a "Siamese Dream," but it could be more evidence that Billy Corgan really loves the year "1979." Three thoughts: 1. This probably won't get him that statue in front of the Staples Center he's been openly lobbying for. 2. Abdul-Jabbar looked comfortable handling a vegetable in a sports setting. Does he play squash with actual squash? 3. We guess he's saving the skyhook for their follow-up record.
And he's not the only Laker out of his gourd. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar made a video of himself dunking a pumpkin to promote the Smashing Pumpkin's new album. No, this isn't a "Siamese Dream," but it could be more evidence that Billy Corgan really loves the year "1979." Three thoughts: 1. This probably won't get him that statue in front of the Staples Center he's been openly lobbying for. 2. Abdul-Jabbar looked comfortable handling a vegetable in a sports setting. Does he play squash with actual squash? 3. We guess he's saving the skyhook for their follow-up record.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
It's a Rough Draft (with sketchy talent)
Perhaps it's lethargy from the looming lockout, but we're as excited to watch this draft as we are to see a Shaq sex tape*. Everything about this year's event seems second-rate, from the athletes to the location. As a New Jersey native and with apologies to visionary mayor Cory Booker, we can safely say that nothing good happens in Newark (that could even be the city's slogan or "Newark: Better than Jersey City since 2006"). There are no assured anchors of a franchise or perennial All-Stars to be selected. Even the most well-known players all have detectable defects. The expected top pick, Kyrie Irving, played in a grand total of 11 games, making a mockery out of the phrase "college career." If his intent was never to stay beyond his freshman year, which it clearly was, then he should've chosen the more courageous path and played overseas, like Brandon Jennings and competed against other professionals. Instead, he dipped his toe in the waters of college hoops, only to injure said toe, but the microscopically small sample size isn't enough to scare away scouts, who overvalue potential as opposed to production.
The rest of the recognizable field contains flaws, too. Derrick Williams is decent, but delusional. He believes he should be the first pick because he has the most "star quality," which is ironic since most of the country hadn't heard of him until NCAA tournament time. Furthermore, he is confident that in Cleveland, he can "fill in for a big star like LeBron." Yes, and MTV's re-imagining of^ "Teen Wolf" is capable of filling in for Michael J. Fox's film. Those comments filled us with laughter and made us wonder if Williams looks at himself in a funhouse mirror. Good luck replacing a once-in-a-generation phenom. Kemba Walker is small and a scorer, who might struggle to get his shot off as a pro and will require lessons on how to set-up teammates. Jimmer Fredette is slow and suspect on defense. Enes Kanter is intriguing due to his height and experience, but because he was declared ineligible to play in college (so he studied instead), he hasn't suited up since 2009, a troubling time when Charlie Sheen was employed and Osama bin Laden was alive. There are other European candidates, but we know as much about them as we do the metric system (you could easily convince us a "Valanciunas" is a unit of measurement). Bismack Biyombo is a fascinating story (check out his basketball odyssey), but he's raw like an Anthony Weiner twit pic. We'd guess that any significant time Biyombo spends on the court next season will be in the D-League. Kenneth Faried, is also a great story, as a naitve son of Newark and a small school star, but he's a classic 'tweener who won't be a starter in the league and likely won't be called to the stage until the second round. Neither Biyombo nor Faried has received an official invite from the league to attend the draft. With so many recent coaching changes among the teams that have high picks, it's possible one will take Markieff Morris, intending to select Marcus.
Forget trade winds swirling, we don't expect so much as a light breeze (beyond swapping draft picks), considering the collective bargaining agreement expires in one week and no one knows what will become of the salary cap. The lack of wheeling and dealing will contribute to this being a less-than-appealing draft. The "sleepers" this time around will be the viewers.
*Which is not even his worst performance committed to celluloid thanks to Steel
^ By that we mean "ruination"
The rest of the recognizable field contains flaws, too. Derrick Williams is decent, but delusional. He believes he should be the first pick because he has the most "star quality," which is ironic since most of the country hadn't heard of him until NCAA tournament time. Furthermore, he is confident that in Cleveland, he can "fill in for a big star like LeBron." Yes, and MTV's re-imagining of^ "Teen Wolf" is capable of filling in for Michael J. Fox's film. Those comments filled us with laughter and made us wonder if Williams looks at himself in a funhouse mirror. Good luck replacing a once-in-a-generation phenom. Kemba Walker is small and a scorer, who might struggle to get his shot off as a pro and will require lessons on how to set-up teammates. Jimmer Fredette is slow and suspect on defense. Enes Kanter is intriguing due to his height and experience, but because he was declared ineligible to play in college (so he studied instead), he hasn't suited up since 2009, a troubling time when Charlie Sheen was employed and Osama bin Laden was alive. There are other European candidates, but we know as much about them as we do the metric system (you could easily convince us a "Valanciunas" is a unit of measurement). Bismack Biyombo is a fascinating story (check out his basketball odyssey), but he's raw like an Anthony Weiner twit pic. We'd guess that any significant time Biyombo spends on the court next season will be in the D-League. Kenneth Faried, is also a great story, as a naitve son of Newark and a small school star, but he's a classic 'tweener who won't be a starter in the league and likely won't be called to the stage until the second round. Neither Biyombo nor Faried has received an official invite from the league to attend the draft. With so many recent coaching changes among the teams that have high picks, it's possible one will take Markieff Morris, intending to select Marcus.
Forget trade winds swirling, we don't expect so much as a light breeze (beyond swapping draft picks), considering the collective bargaining agreement expires in one week and no one knows what will become of the salary cap. The lack of wheeling and dealing will contribute to this being a less-than-appealing draft. The "sleepers" this time around will be the viewers.
*Which is not even his worst performance committed to celluloid thanks to Steel
^ By that we mean "ruination"
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