For once, someone other than Eminem is furious in Detroit. On Friday, four Pistons players skipped the team's shootaround and two more arrived late, supposedly in protest of coach John Kuester. Detroit made no moves before Thursday's trade deadline, even though two of the players who were absent -- Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince -- were expected to be dealt. As a result, Kuester dressed only six players for Friday's game, leaving him with less viable subs than a Jimmy John's. The squad became even further short-handed when Kuester was ejected from the game. A few of the punished players, such as Tracy McGrady and Ben Wallace were seen laughing so hard on the bench after Kuester was tossed, you'd think they were watch an episode of Chappelle's Show on T-Mac's ipad. Hamilton has barely seen action in 2011 and seems so frustrated that we wouldn't be surprised if he's the next Detroit athlete we see swigging scotch straight from the bottle.
Following this mutiny in the Motor City, the time has come for Kuester's ouster. When half of the team has tuned you out, including all of the members of the 2004 championship squad, who also happen to be well-respected veterans, you're being ignored like a Katherine Heigel movie and rightfully so. In his first year as coach, the Pistons failed to reach the playoffs for the first time in nine seasons and they're on pace to miss the postseason again. The Pistons allege they are rebuilding, which is a theme for the city as a whole, but they really haven't started the process. A step in the right direction would've been to complete some transactions during the season, parting ways with the vets for prospects or draft picks, but they instead stood pat. That's not the coach's fault, but he's alienating people at a pace only Charlie Sheen can top at the moment.
Here's our nod to one of the lamer Super Bowl commercials: Dissatisfaction: Imported from Detroit. Even when the Pistons were contending for championships, they were never a luxury car, but now they're clearly a clunker. Kuester, a newbie as a head coach, is one reason. At least the city's residents can look forward to that RoboCop statue.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
A Lucky Blake
The NBA now stands for the National Blake Association. Clippers rookie and routine rim rougher-upper Blake Griffin was named as a reserve for the All-Star team, so he will now be featured in three of the festivities five events: the slam dunk contest, the rookie-sophomore game and the All-Star game. The contestants for the three-point contest haven't been announced yet, so he could be in that, too. Why not include him in the Taco Bell skills challenge so he can have the whole enchilada, figuratively and literally.
Just like Taco Bell, my beef with Griffin is mostly fake. He produces at least one highlight per night. He attacks the rack like a young Shaq.* He's well on his way to being as popular among males age 18-35 as Peter Griffin. He's indisputably the best rookie and an electrifying player who fans want to see throw down in an exhibition where slams, not shots, are the norm. But Griffin already gets that chance twice over the weekend, is three times really the charm? And will he have anything left in his bag of tricks to wow the crowd with by Sunday?
Griffin's inclusion means a few worthy players were left to eat a cold snub sandwich, notably: Monta Ellis, Tony Parker and Steve Nash. Ellis is sixth in the league in scoring. The only other player in the top ten in points per game not selected to the squad is Griffin's teammate, Eric Gordon. If you hold the Warriors and Suns records against Ellis and Nash, then you must also do so for Griffin (the Clippers have fewer wins than both those teams and less than half the amount of the Spurs) along with injury replacement and double-double dynamo Kevin Love^. Leading the league in rebounds is grounds for making the All-NBA team at the end of the year, not necessarily the All-Star team. Watching Love box out isn't exactly entertaining. As for Nash, how do you omit a man who drops more dimes than a clumsy coin collector? All-Star games are all about the alley-oop, but there can be no oop without the alley created by an on-point pass. Not to mention that Nash's numbers are on par with those of his career and he's doing it minus Amar'e (16.7 ppg and 11 apg, compared to 16.5 ppg and 11 apg last season).
Boston bias reared its ugly head with four Celtics picked. We're talking Marquis Daniels-level ugly. We don't want to hear the weak argument that Boston has the best record in the East, therefore they've earned as many participants as there are leaves on a shamrock. Raymond Felton and Andrew Bogut should file police reports with David Stern because they were robbed. There were zero first-time selections in the East. The Spurs hold the best record overall, yet have only two representatives. Even in the loaded West, logic dictates the 42-8 club be rewarded. San Antonio should have (Ala)mo players. Put Parker on in place of Griffin and swap Russell Westbrook for Nash, who could be in the twilight of his career.
Let the rookie sit in the stands and watch a winner -- of three championships, plus a Finals MVP -- Parker, take the court. At least for this year. The experience will only Blake him stronger.
*And we rap like a young Shaq. We look forward to collaborating with Fu-Schnickens.
^Yao Ming making the initial cut is proof that a nation of a billion people can be wrong and even more blindly patriotic than America. Are the Chinese even Taipeing attention? How did he amass that many votes? Does the government hand out All-Star ballots?
Just like Taco Bell, my beef with Griffin is mostly fake. He produces at least one highlight per night. He attacks the rack like a young Shaq.* He's well on his way to being as popular among males age 18-35 as Peter Griffin. He's indisputably the best rookie and an electrifying player who fans want to see throw down in an exhibition where slams, not shots, are the norm. But Griffin already gets that chance twice over the weekend, is three times really the charm? And will he have anything left in his bag of tricks to wow the crowd with by Sunday?
Griffin's inclusion means a few worthy players were left to eat a cold snub sandwich, notably: Monta Ellis, Tony Parker and Steve Nash. Ellis is sixth in the league in scoring. The only other player in the top ten in points per game not selected to the squad is Griffin's teammate, Eric Gordon. If you hold the Warriors and Suns records against Ellis and Nash, then you must also do so for Griffin (the Clippers have fewer wins than both those teams and less than half the amount of the Spurs) along with injury replacement and double-double dynamo Kevin Love^. Leading the league in rebounds is grounds for making the All-NBA team at the end of the year, not necessarily the All-Star team. Watching Love box out isn't exactly entertaining. As for Nash, how do you omit a man who drops more dimes than a clumsy coin collector? All-Star games are all about the alley-oop, but there can be no oop without the alley created by an on-point pass. Not to mention that Nash's numbers are on par with those of his career and he's doing it minus Amar'e (16.7 ppg and 11 apg, compared to 16.5 ppg and 11 apg last season).
Boston bias reared its ugly head with four Celtics picked. We're talking Marquis Daniels-level ugly. We don't want to hear the weak argument that Boston has the best record in the East, therefore they've earned as many participants as there are leaves on a shamrock. Raymond Felton and Andrew Bogut should file police reports with David Stern because they were robbed. There were zero first-time selections in the East. The Spurs hold the best record overall, yet have only two representatives. Even in the loaded West, logic dictates the 42-8 club be rewarded. San Antonio should have (Ala)mo players. Put Parker on in place of Griffin and swap Russell Westbrook for Nash, who could be in the twilight of his career.
Let the rookie sit in the stands and watch a winner -- of three championships, plus a Finals MVP -- Parker, take the court. At least for this year. The experience will only Blake him stronger.
*And we rap like a young Shaq. We look forward to collaborating with Fu-Schnickens.
^Yao Ming making the initial cut is proof that a nation of a billion people can be wrong and even more blindly patriotic than America. Are the Chinese even Taipeing attention? How did he amass that many votes? Does the government hand out All-Star ballots?
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