Morey or Less

Rockets geeky guru GM Daryl Morey, the stats savant Bill Simmons sucks up to, might have outed himself as a hoarder. The Rockets, who had zero first-round selections in 2011, have now stockpiled three: numbers 12, 16 and 18. Houston has missed the playoffs for three straight season, despite posting a winning record in each of them, so "Dork Elvis" has his team "all shook up." Mr. MIT is miffed by mediocrity.

They've coveted a center since Yao Ming retired and a trade for Pau Gasol last year was voided by the league. In order to chase after Dwight Howard, they had chase out Chase Budinger. And they might not be done dealing, since a pick inside the top ten might be required to secure the services of the association's best big man, bad back and all.

At least the Rockets, unlike the hesitant Howard, know what they want. Still, if Morey and Houston can't move any of what are assets only through this evening for a prominent player, they'll look like asses come tomorrow.

Drifting During Drafting

It's called a draft, but it doesn't blow by anymore, ever since ESPN assumed coverage of the event a decade ago. While it's no multiple-day marathon, like its NFL equivalent, four hours is still such a serious time commitment that you almost need "athleticism" to watch until the end - or at least excellent "intangibles." As for the awkward and immediate post-pick interviews, they have virtually no "upside."

Still, there's something to be said for seeing it through. Last year's saving grace was that the fella besides Barkley who's funniest when he's frank, Jeff Van Gundy, grew as grumpy as we did at the plodding pace. It's also worth mentioning that the last man standing in 2011, Isaiah Thomas, the sixtieth selection, was at least a ruby-in-the-rough (diamond would be an exaggeration), averaging 11.5 ppg in 65 games for Sacramento, higher than fellow first-year King Jimmer Fredette, who was taken 50 spots ahead of Thomas. Since there could be another late-round discovery, we'll take the Stuart Scott approach to the draft: we'll keep one eye on it*.

*Scott will now be doing this from home because he was booted from the broadcast.

The Heat of the Moment

LeBron James capped a long, strange trip (if you can consider two years lengthy) since his divisive decision with a triple-double to capture the championship he was convinced he couldn't in Cleveland (he was correct when it came to that crummy crew, but somehow he made changing co-workers controversial). By whipping the Thunder - and leading his team in points, assists, rebounds, minutes played, free throws made in the title-taking tilt - James insured that his ceaseless and caustic critics will have to find a new whipping boy next season. It has to feel liberating, to transition from being lambasted to lionized, which is what winning does to a persuasive press (ourselves included). It reshaped Dirk Nowitzki's reputation and LeBron's should be restored; redeemed at least in the eyes of the rational. Like Kevin Spacey in Superman Returns, James was miscast as a villain (or at least played the part poorly).

On the whole, fans are both forgiving and forgetful*. In the months that follow (and assuming there's no letdown from LeBron in London), James will be considered clutch now that he's clutched the Larry O'Brien trophy. For those who need to re-direct the rage that has become part of their routine since July 8, 2010 or who will miss finding fault in famous public figures, well, there's always the 2012 Presidential race.

*it probably has something to do with all the lite beer they drink; Miller mitigates meanness and memories

Finals Exam

School hasn't let out yet for LeBron James, but he is one win away from acing the test, albeit on the third attempt (the finals are like the SATs, you can take it multiple times and select only your best results to count). James was one rebound shy of a triple-double in the Heat's third straight victory, who can clinch the championship at home on Thursday. James, as usual, has been hard to cover and hardcovers might deserve some credit.

LeBron has been reading the Thunder's defense closely, which perhaps we can attribute to his pre-game ritual of burying his nose in a book*, as opposed to tweeting or turning on the TV. Ironically, he's completed Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point while practically pushing the Thunder to theirs.

James has also finished the The Hunger Games trilogy and he's displayed the deliberate determination of its heroine, Katniss Everdeen (although not the arrow-aiming ability). We'd say he's Catching Fire at the right time and soon no one will be Mockingjames^. Even if the Heat improbably implode, it's nice to know that the NBA's "Read to Achieve" campaign got through to someone.

* a (Barnes &) Noble pursuit
^ his new hobby may be making him haughty, since Serge Ibaka is the second player in the postseason James he has said is "stupid"(Danny Granger was the first). Here's a reminder to remain humble: the Hunger Games series is intended for young adults.

There Can Be Only Uno

As LeBron James and Kevin Durant hunt for hardware on the hardwood, Roy Hibbert and Jeremy Lin searched their surroundings for silly souvenirs on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The conclusion: Hibbert cheats*, knows white people on a more intimate level than Lin and is willing to pay a premium for a pooch (Lin could purchase 150 watches for the price of Hibbert's puppy). Once the prize was announced, we wondered if winning was worth it, but maybe a competition involving mad dashes does deserve mad Kardashians, scavengers in their own right (of sports stars).

*whether it's at cards or just with cards, we don't know

Who's Up Four It?

Ignore options one through three on either team, the deciding factor in the finals will be the fourth-best player on the Heat or Thunder and it's unclear exactly who that is. There are three likely candidates for each side: Battier, Chalmers and Haslem for Miami; and Ibaka, Sefolosha and Fisher for Oklahoma City. It has to be considered discouraging news for the Heat that in game 1, Battier and Chalmers contributed considerably - combining for 29 points (on 11-16 shooting), including 6 made threes, with 6 assists against 1 turnover - yet the Heat still lost. Haslem did his part on defense, hauling in a game-high 11 rebounds. Miami can't realistically expect much more from its scant support staff.

We believe the series' secret savior will emerge from the Thunder's secondary trio, due to the defense of Ibaka and Sefolosha, plus the experience of Fisher, who may not be lord of the rings, but he's at least earned the title of liege. Fisher has knocked down the 2nd-most three-pointers in NBA Finals history so, like David Stern in a room with Jim Rome*, he can't be left alone. LeBron scored 30 points, more than he had in any finals game previously, but he wasn't a force in the fourth, which is why the Heat need to find a fourth or else they'll be forlorn.

if Rome was burning, now he has to be fuming

One Canadian's Pinterest

Former Sixers and Nets center Todd MacCulloch spent his NBA riches the same way any 12-year-old boy would: on pinball and Slurpee machines*. Finally MacCulloch, who has won tournaments and is hosting a world championship at his house - found a game in which he can be a high scorer. Congrats, T-Mac, you're the Kevin Durant of flipper flicking.

*items we'd probably purchase, too, if we had a few hundred thousand dollars lying around

Self-Satisfaction Guaranteed

Save for citizens in Seattle and Cleveland (locales where either the coffee or the people are bitter), all hoops buffs should be pleased with the NBA Finals pairing. LeBron has let it be known he will be content, regardless of the outcome: "Whatever the results, I'm going to be satisfied with that." It's a curious comment that calls his competitiveness into question. That doesn't sound like a statement from someone with a killer instinct; it might not even be a wounder instinct. The last two men to hold LeBron's hallowed place in the game - Jordan and Kobe - would never express or even entertain that thought. Winning was the only way to feel fulfilled, championships were their criteria for measuring success*. They were Machiavelli, Malcolm-X; LeBron is McFerrin, Bobby - he won't worry, he'll just be happy.

LeBron may be the most talented player in the league, but the Thunder are the more talented team, so LeBron will have to duplicate his Herculean effort from the Celtics series for his club to achieve what they were assembled to do. His attitude needs to adjust from patting himself on the back, to wanting to break the back of the Thunder, because until he wins a title, the critics - whether reasonable or so rabid that they should be put down for the safety of others - won't get off his back. The meek may inherit the Earth, but in the NBA they don't receive rings.

*well, that and number of Nike ads

The Big Threes

Chris Bosh connected on career-best trio of treys, while fantastic flopper defender Shane Battier drained four from beyond the arc -accounting for all of his points - to help the Heat complete a comeback in the game and the series, sending LeBron James to his third NBA Finals. No wonder Manny Pacquiao delayed the start of his fight until game seven concluded*, watching this was worth it (and, unlike in boxing, basketball can never be decided by the scoring of judges).

While Bosh (19 points and 8 rebounds on 8-10 shooting) bolstered a barren bench, LeBron again lit up the Celtics like they were a victory cigar, assembling his fifth game of at least 30 points and 10 rebounds. Whether you cheer him or jeer him (or even dump beer on him) he's definitively the best player in the association. After dueling with him, Keyon Dooling said, succinctly and savvily,"He is great for our game; he is our game."

The Queen's jubilee is over, but the King can't celebrate yet; his trek has one more stop before he can be totally jubilant: Oklahoma City. The Thunder are primed to be a royal pain, ready to rain on a potential parade.

*Strangely, he's a Celtics fan; you'd think he'd be in the corner of the Heat and fellow Filipino Erik Spoelstra.

Good Job, Good Effort, LeBron

In his pre-game pep talk, Doc Rivers claimed the Heat hadn't seen the best from the Celtics. It turned out his team hadn't witnessed the finest from LeBron, either. LeBron averaged a point per minute, finishing with 45 - netting 30 in the first half alone - basically blistering the basket by shooting a searing 73% from the floor, to stretch the series to a seventh game. Maybe swapping out the black for the red road uniforms explains why LeBron's stroke was red-hot. The fire didn't spread to his teammates, as Dwyane Wade was the only other to reach double digits, but he needed 17 shots to score 17 points.

All in all, LeBron wilted the Celtics with his Wilt-esque performance. Wilt Chamberlain is the sole player to produce a playoff game with statistics superior to LeBron's 45 points, 15 rebounds and 5 assists. It's fitting that "The Stilt" stands above the rest, but last night, LeBron climbed the ladder and reached another rung. It's a shame the game wasn't in Miami; we were curious to hear what a certain young fan would shout to LeBron afterward.

Thunder Clothes It Out

The Spurs calamitous collapse, capped by blowing a 15-point halftime lead last night, was ugly. Russell Westbrook's wardrobe ugly. Despite being down 0-2, the Thunder didn't panic; they kept their shirt on, which was the composed and correct choice, except when it comes to what Westbrook wears in the post-game press conferences. In the end, the Thunder demolished the Spurs in the same manner that Shaq destroyed a Charles Barkley pinata : thoroughly, unexpectedly, live and bare-handed*. Heck, the Thunder are so young, they probably celebrated with candy afterwards. They showed they have the stuff(ing) champions are made of.

The Heat's coach will employ a new Spoelstrategy of playing Chris Bosh instead of not doing so. Bosh logged 14 productive minutes in his first game back from injury, tallying 9 points and 7 rebounds, but remained on the bench throughout the fourth quarter. With rumors that all members of the team other than LeBron will be on the trading block should the Heat fail to reach the finals, Spoelstra should use him before he loses him. To use Spoelstra's word, it might not be "fair" to expect big things from Bosh in big moments yet, but for two seasons the expectations haven't been fair for the anyone on the Heat. Bottom line: Don't quash Bosh.

*Thankfully without the face-biting and throat-tearing.

Thunderstruck

Only one week ago, the Spurs were on a cloud riding a 20-game winning streak. Little did they know that the cloud concealed a coming clap of Thunder. Now, following three consecutive defeats - their longest losing streak all season - after serving as a paragon of playoff perfection, their postseason is practically gone. The Thunder followed up the Thablowout with a power Serge in game 4, when Serge Ibaka set a career high in points and was flawless from the field in the process, nearly notching a playoff record for most baskets without a miss. However, the role players receded into the background in game 5, as the Thunder's scoring came from the standard sources.

Kevin Durant, the beanpole bucket burier, is indubitably a fearless leader, but lately he's been a downright dictator*, seizing control of the series, averaging over 28 ppg in the wins on 55% shooting, dominating the formerly dominant. Like the ATM conveniently located in DeShawn Stevenson's kitchen, Durant's been money^. Having gained Oklahoma court advantage, the Thunder can close it out Wednesday. They're banking on another total takeover in the fourth from Durant, something the Spurs simply can't afford to allow.

*All he has to do is sprout James Harden's whiskers and he can appear alongside Sasha Baron Cohen's latest character.

^Psychologists agreed that should Stevenson ever remove the machine, he'll go through serious withdrawal.

Fallin Hard

Charles Barkley was served a steak (along with a side of the only "fries" he wasn't eager to eat) by Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin prior to the game. The Thunder weren't as hospitable to their guests, doubling the score of the Spurs in the second quarter (although at least they didn't encourage/try to trick San Antonio into dining on lamb gonads), in a game that quickly became what we're labeling as a 'Thablowout.' Swiss shooting guard Thabo Sefolosha, prized for his pesky defense, set a personal playoff best with 19 points. Kevin Durant scored 22 points, but Sefolosha stole the show, mostly by stealing the ball a half-dozen times, helping force a flurry of flubs from the sloppy Spurs, 21 turnovers in total.

It turns out Sefolosha wasn't the only man with disruptive hands in Oklahoma City last night. Lil Wayne attempted to enter the Thunder's arena without a ticket, expecting to be seated for free courtside. He was turned away with the authority of Serge Ibaka swatting a shot. The Thunder made it clear that for a sell-out there are no perks*, even for constantly catered-to celebrities. The Spurs should learn a lesson from the Thunder organization's strict stance: no giveaways.

*except Kendrick Perkins