Pacers and patrons don't mix. 2004's "Malice at the Palace" taught us that those parties shouldn't mix it up. A scuffle spilled into the seats in Indianapolis last night, but fortunately no fists flew from fans and no players threw punches. Shoving between Roy Hibbert and David Lee following a foul was exacerbated when the slight but scrappy Stephen Curry came to the aid of his fellow Warrior in a most literal way, charging Hibbert, which moved the minor melee into the corner onto supporters sitting near the sidelines.
Hibbert was ejected and believes he'll be suspended. He understands that the league can't have colossal creatures colliding with customers, even unintentionally. However, the NBA needs to recognize that teammates will back each other up and should back up the stands accordingly, to protect athletes and admirers alike. There is such a thing as too close for comfort. How many bystanders have to be bowled over and spectators sideswiped for David Stern to do something? Being front-row for a fight is appealing when attending a boxing match, but appalling when going to a basketball game.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Left for Deadline
Inspired by the Oscars, we've been busy working on a film of our own, a historical drama about the 2003 draft, Zero Darko Thirty. Much like the Academy Awards, this year's trade deadline was more stirring to squawk and speculate about than it was to sit through*. The most noteworthy move was the reunion of identical twins Marcus and Markieff Morris, who have almost identical stats this season (8.6 ppg, 4.1 rpg and 7.3 and 4.3, respectively)^. Despite the unending uneducated guesses of ESPN rumor-mongers who identify as reporters, there were no Argo-esque escapes for stars supposedly up for sale. Josh Smith is still a Beast of the Southern Wild, while Dwight Howard remains part of Les Miserables, aka the Lakers. All we know is Mike D'Antoni needs to find his Silver Linings Playbook fast, before an unchained Phil Jackson comes for him like Django.
Happy belated birthday to Charles Barkley, who we're guessing spit out the candles on his cake. We're developing a documentary on the "Round Mound of Rebound": Life of Pie.
Speaking of rebellious rebounders from the '90s, Dennis Rodman is currently in North Korea, along with three members of the Harlem Globetrotters, to promote the sport of basketball, by conducting a camp for children and competing in games against the country's best athletes. An abnormal area requires an abnormal ambassador. Rodman might've finally found a nation where insanity is appreciated.
*Sorry, we Shat(ner) all over both events.
^Although it is fun to guess what words poet J.J. Redick (15.1 ppg, 12th in total threes made) has decided rhyme with his new home city, "Milwaukee." Here's some help: thrill jockey, skill hockey and shrill walkie-talkie.
Happy belated birthday to Charles Barkley, who we're guessing spit out the candles on his cake. We're developing a documentary on the "Round Mound of Rebound": Life of Pie.
Speaking of rebellious rebounders from the '90s, Dennis Rodman is currently in North Korea, along with three members of the Harlem Globetrotters, to promote the sport of basketball, by conducting a camp for children and competing in games against the country's best athletes. An abnormal area requires an abnormal ambassador. Rodman might've finally found a nation where insanity is appreciated.
*Sorry, we Shat(ner) all over both events.
^Although it is fun to guess what words poet J.J. Redick (15.1 ppg, 12th in total threes made) has decided rhyme with his new home city, "Milwaukee." Here's some help: thrill jockey, skill hockey and shrill walkie-talkie.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Buss Stop
Lakers owner Jerry Buss passed away Monday at the age of 80 in a L.A. hospital. Buss was the George Steinbrenner of the NBA, minus the meddling - and with even more winning. He spent staggering sums on stars and was rewarded royally with a titanic 10 titles in total. The championships came early - in his first year of acquiring the franchise - and often - back-to-back on four occasions. Buss earned his fortune in real estate, beginning with a modest $1,000 deal, and he sensed a sound investment when he saw it. He bought the Lakers, the L.A. Kings, their old arena The Forum and 13,000 acres of land in 1979 for $67.5 million. Today, the Lakers are estimated by Forbes to be worth $1 billion. Fitting, that one of the team colors is gold.
Buss did much more than merely cut checks; he's credited with the concepts of courtside seats, cheerleaders, and cable channels carrying all the home games becoming commonplace in the league - and also the awful idea of attaching an advertiser to an arena (we're willing forgive the stadium sponsorship scourge, since he supplied us with the supple Laker Girls). Perhaps because Buss' background - he grew up impoverished in Wyoming and held a doctorate in physical chemistry - made him an unlikely owner, he acted unlike most owners: he played poker against pros and partied with players. Pardon the pun, but for Buss, life was one wonderful ride.
Buss did much more than merely cut checks; he's credited with the concepts of courtside seats, cheerleaders, and cable channels carrying all the home games becoming commonplace in the league - and also the awful idea of attaching an advertiser to an arena (we're willing forgive the stadium sponsorship scourge, since he supplied us with the supple Laker Girls). Perhaps because Buss' background - he grew up impoverished in Wyoming and held a doctorate in physical chemistry - made him an unlikely owner, he acted unlike most owners: he played poker against pros and partied with players. Pardon the pun, but for Buss, life was one wonderful ride.
Monday, February 18, 2013
After All-Star
Four things we learned from All-Star weekend, besides that Charles Barkley used to stow Vaseline in his navel ("put the lotion in the bellybutton," we hear him saying, Silence of the Lambs-style):
1. It's a Paul world after all. The State Farm spokesman insured (see what we did there?) that the All-Star game was entertaining by circulating dimes like the Treasury. Paul paired 15 assists with 20 points to guide the West to its third straight win and garner MVP honors. Paul persuaded even Kobe Bryant not to pass up passing, as Bryant hoisted only one more shot (9) than he handed out helpers (8).
2. It was a showcase for two small school standouts. Rookie Damian Lillard, of Weber State (and we thought that school only produced great grills), Crunchwrapped up the Taco Bell Skills Challenge* and played the most minutes of anyone in the Rising Stars Challenge, while chipping in 18 points. Kenneth Faried, a Morehead State alum, poured in 40 points and 10 rebounds in the Team Chuck vs. Team Shaq showdown and when he stopped by the TNT set afterwards, admitted he had never before scored even 30 points in a game. Faried had a flurry of ferocious flushes in the game, more so than he managed in the Dunk Contest, although his energy and enthusiasm were evident in both. This was a chance for the non-nocturnal to appreciate Lillard and Faried in action.
3. There's nothing Kyrie Irving can't do. He was the MVP of the Rising Stars game last season and for his second stint wound up as the second-leading scorer, totaling 32 points. With his deft dribbling, he buckled Brandon Knight, bringing Knight to the floor and the crow to its feet. As if his handle wasn't impressive enough, he handled the competition in the Three-Point contest, despite being a long-shot to triumph against pure shooters such as Steve Novak and Stephen Curry. Irving synchronizes style and substance.
4. The Dunk Contest was a dud. Some delight in disparaging the event every year. We don't and even enjoy the props, but this one was sideways from the start. Firstly, the commentators weren't familiar with the contestants or the format. Even worse, a pair of participants failed to stuff successfully in the second round, bringing back bad memories of Birdman with his wings clipped in 2005. On Saturday night, another nifty nickname was wrecked. James "Flight" White should've stayed in his hangar because he dive-bombed as a rim-hanger. Finally and most unforgivably, Jeremy Evans' artistic touch went unappreciated. Evans, last year's winner, hopped over a covered canvas, which was revealed to be self-portrait of him slamming, then signed it. Somehow, fans brushed aside his brilliant brush strokes and voted for Terence Ross, who leaped over a lad it turns out is the tyke of Twitter's CEO. We smell as conspiracy. And we know just the team to investigate it: The crack CIA crew of Homeland, which is what Charles Barkley advised America on-air to watch instead of the remaining rounds. It makes sense. Since the players weren't putting on a show, viewers might as well put on Showtime.
*We expect payment for our promotion - straight Chalupas, homey.
1. It's a Paul world after all. The State Farm spokesman insured (see what we did there?) that the All-Star game was entertaining by circulating dimes like the Treasury. Paul paired 15 assists with 20 points to guide the West to its third straight win and garner MVP honors. Paul persuaded even Kobe Bryant not to pass up passing, as Bryant hoisted only one more shot (9) than he handed out helpers (8).
2. It was a showcase for two small school standouts. Rookie Damian Lillard, of Weber State (and we thought that school only produced great grills), Crunchwrapped up the Taco Bell Skills Challenge* and played the most minutes of anyone in the Rising Stars Challenge, while chipping in 18 points. Kenneth Faried, a Morehead State alum, poured in 40 points and 10 rebounds in the Team Chuck vs. Team Shaq showdown and when he stopped by the TNT set afterwards, admitted he had never before scored even 30 points in a game. Faried had a flurry of ferocious flushes in the game, more so than he managed in the Dunk Contest, although his energy and enthusiasm were evident in both. This was a chance for the non-nocturnal to appreciate Lillard and Faried in action.
3. There's nothing Kyrie Irving can't do. He was the MVP of the Rising Stars game last season and for his second stint wound up as the second-leading scorer, totaling 32 points. With his deft dribbling, he buckled Brandon Knight, bringing Knight to the floor and the crow to its feet. As if his handle wasn't impressive enough, he handled the competition in the Three-Point contest, despite being a long-shot to triumph against pure shooters such as Steve Novak and Stephen Curry. Irving synchronizes style and substance.
4. The Dunk Contest was a dud. Some delight in disparaging the event every year. We don't and even enjoy the props, but this one was sideways from the start. Firstly, the commentators weren't familiar with the contestants or the format. Even worse, a pair of participants failed to stuff successfully in the second round, bringing back bad memories of Birdman with his wings clipped in 2005. On Saturday night, another nifty nickname was wrecked. James "Flight" White should've stayed in his hangar because he dive-bombed as a rim-hanger. Finally and most unforgivably, Jeremy Evans' artistic touch went unappreciated. Evans, last year's winner, hopped over a covered canvas, which was revealed to be self-portrait of him slamming, then signed it. Somehow, fans brushed aside his brilliant brush strokes and voted for Terence Ross, who leaped over a lad it turns out is the tyke of Twitter's CEO. We smell as conspiracy. And we know just the team to investigate it: The crack CIA crew of Homeland, which is what Charles Barkley advised America on-air to watch instead of the remaining rounds. It makes sense. Since the players weren't putting on a show, viewers might as well put on Showtime.
*We expect payment for our promotion - straight Chalupas, homey.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Is It Tee Time?
Throwbacks have been all the rage recently, but one future-focused franchise wants to throw forward. The Warriors unveiled a unique uni on Monday: a tight-fitting t-shirt that will take the place of the typical tank top on a trial basis in at least a trio of games. It's a hole-less, whole new look, designed by Adidas, a remake over a year in the making. The company claims the material 26% lighter than existing outfits, as if featherweight Stephen Curry needs to have less heft. Additionally, Adidas asserts that the clothing is comprised of 60% recycled material, so if you think the garb pops, it could be because it was previously bottles of pop. Golden State will debut the duds on February 22 during a nationally televised home game.
We may be from New Jersey, but that doesn't mean we like these new jerseys. Being interesting and innovative isn't enough if they are also impractical. Our advice to Adidas on tinkering with the traditional threads: Sleeve them alone.
We may be from New Jersey, but that doesn't mean we like these new jerseys. Being interesting and innovative isn't enough if they are also impractical. Our advice to Adidas on tinkering with the traditional threads: Sleeve them alone.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
James and Jordan: A Heated Discussion
South Beach is starting to seem like the South Pacific because for the last half-dozen games, including five in Miami, LeBron James has been hotter than an active volcano. Over a six-game span - all Heat wins - LeBron is shooting a lava-like 71.7% from the field. Last night, he became the first player in league history to score 30 or more and shoot 60% or higher in six straight tilts. The highlight was charring Charlotte by burning the Bobcats for 13 baskets on 14 attempts, nearly 93%, the numeric equivalent of nitroglycerin. It's as if LeBron's been bathing in baking soda, vinegar and warm water.* "I'm at a loss for words," he confessed afterwords. Leave that to us, LeBron; we've come up with one to describe you: Magma-nificent.
Michael Jordan hits the half-century mark on Sunday, coincidentally the same day as this year's All-Star Game. All week, ESPN has been airing pithy pieces praising "His Airness," which is a bit backwards. The network would rather reminisce about greatness that was, instead of reveling in the greatness that is going on now, right in front of us. It's likely that unless the championship count evens out, LJ won't be appreciated on the level of MJ. So it is that Jordan gets to stick out his trademark tongue at an athlete he never played against.
*See, Mom and Dad, we were paying attention during our middle school science fair, not just giggling at the styrofoam model of Uranus.
Michael Jordan hits the half-century mark on Sunday, coincidentally the same day as this year's All-Star Game. All week, ESPN has been airing pithy pieces praising "His Airness," which is a bit backwards. The network would rather reminisce about greatness that was, instead of reveling in the greatness that is going on now, right in front of us. It's likely that unless the championship count evens out, LJ won't be appreciated on the level of MJ. So it is that Jordan gets to stick out his trademark tongue at an athlete he never played against.
*See, Mom and Dad, we were paying attention during our middle school science fair, not just giggling at the styrofoam model of Uranus.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Rush Howard
Despite Los Angeles players making up four-fifths of the West All-Star starters, three-fourths of them haven't been suiting up lately*. Blake Griffin, who had a consecutive games streak stopped at 197, missed two but is expected back Friday, as is Chris Paul, who's sat out nine straight. The news isn't nearly as nice for the Lakers, since Kobe Bryant, who's been shouldering the load all season, has no sympathy for Dwight Howard's suffering shoulder. By challenging his center to play through the pain, arguing that the tenth-place team, who learned on Wednesday it will be without Pau Gasol for at minimum a month following a faulty foot, Kobe intends to motivate, not aggravate. Even if it means he has to be the heel, by pointing out that the Lakers can't wait for Howard to heel.
So far, Howard won't hear it, "That's his opinion...he's not a doctor^." Whether Howard's being hard-headed or hesitant, it goes back to his back. "Last year I wanted to prove and show people I can play through injuries...I don't want that situation to happen again." There's a distinct divide in their designs for the season: Kobe is chasing a championship, while Howard is chasing a cash-crammed contract. You can earn the latter without the former. This is why Kobe's called a winner, whereas Dwight's considered a whiner.
*And that, readers, is fractions in action. Just don't make us show our work.
^There's your cue to intervene, Dr. Shaq.
So far, Howard won't hear it, "That's his opinion...he's not a doctor^." Whether Howard's being hard-headed or hesitant, it goes back to his back. "Last year I wanted to prove and show people I can play through injuries...I don't want that situation to happen again." There's a distinct divide in their designs for the season: Kobe is chasing a championship, while Howard is chasing a cash-crammed contract. You can earn the latter without the former. This is why Kobe's called a winner, whereas Dwight's considered a whiner.
*And that, readers, is fractions in action. Just don't make us show our work.
^There's your cue to intervene, Dr. Shaq.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Trey Bien
Talk about a triple threat. The Rockets matched an Association mark and set a team one by making a net-if-not-mind-melting 23 three-pointers, which accounted for exactly half of their made field goals, in a blowout win over the Warriors last night. Houston connected on a Hades-hot 57.5% of its attempts from beyond the arc, better than its overall platter-of-fajitas-sizzling shooting for the game (50.5%), as every single player successfully sank at least half of the threes they tried. Jeremy Lin led the long distance liftoff with 5, while the fuzzy-faced James Harden hit 4 and the Chandler Parsons Project contributed 4. Even a guy from Lithuania, Donatas Motiejunas, who had 15 career starts, was part of the mania, adding one.
The surge was all the more surprising since they were - dare we say en fuego*? - minus Carlos Delfino, the Argentine assassin (which is nickname we made up for him just now) and the team's top swisher of said shot. Thanks to a touch better than that bizarre boy on Kiefer Sutherland's show, the Rockets turned Tuesday into Threesday.
*Two romance languages in one post? Mamma mia!
The surge was all the more surprising since they were - dare we say en fuego*? - minus Carlos Delfino, the Argentine assassin (which is nickname we made up for him just now) and the team's top swisher of said shot. Thanks to a touch better than that bizarre boy on Kiefer Sutherland's show, the Rockets turned Tuesday into Threesday.
*Two romance languages in one post? Mamma mia!
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