Barring a last-minute miracle in negotiations on Thursday -- and the sides don't seem serious about getting a deal in place before July 1 -- since they declined to meet today, the NBA is headed for a work stoppage. Still, David Stern said the owners haven't voted to begin the lockout after the agreement expires, so it's possible the deadline could be extended if talks tomorrow are productive. Stranger things have happened this week, such as Ron Artest, channeling his inner World B. Free, filing paperwork in Los Angeles to legally change his name to "Metta World Peace ('Metta meaning "loving kindness in Pali, not the more apt meta that far better represents Artest)." Three thoughts: 1. Was Maitri Global Harmony already taken? 2. Was Chad Ochocinco consulted at any point? 3. Oh, Artest, gentle soul that he is, wasn't trying to clobber J.J. Barea, he was attempting to hug Barea's face with his open hand and extended arm.
And he's not the only Laker out of his gourd. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar made a video of himself dunking a pumpkin to promote the Smashing Pumpkin's new album. No, this isn't a "Siamese Dream," but it could be more evidence that Billy Corgan really loves the year "1979." Three thoughts: 1. This probably won't get him that statue in front of the Staples Center he's been openly lobbying for. 2. Abdul-Jabbar looked comfortable handling a vegetable in a sports setting. Does he play squash with actual squash? 3. We guess he's saving the skyhook for their follow-up record.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
It's a Rough Draft (with sketchy talent)
Perhaps it's lethargy from the looming lockout, but we're as excited to watch this draft as we are to see a Shaq sex tape*. Everything about this year's event seems second-rate, from the athletes to the location. As a New Jersey native and with apologies to visionary mayor Cory Booker, we can safely say that nothing good happens in Newark (that could even be the city's slogan or "Newark: Better than Jersey City since 2006"). There are no assured anchors of a franchise or perennial All-Stars to be selected. Even the most well-known players all have detectable defects. The expected top pick, Kyrie Irving, played in a grand total of 11 games, making a mockery out of the phrase "college career." If his intent was never to stay beyond his freshman year, which it clearly was, then he should've chosen the more courageous path and played overseas, like Brandon Jennings and competed against other professionals. Instead, he dipped his toe in the waters of college hoops, only to injure said toe, but the microscopically small sample size isn't enough to scare away scouts, who overvalue potential as opposed to production.
The rest of the recognizable field contains flaws, too. Derrick Williams is decent, but delusional. He believes he should be the first pick because he has the most "star quality," which is ironic since most of the country hadn't heard of him until NCAA tournament time. Furthermore, he is confident that in Cleveland, he can "fill in for a big star like LeBron." Yes, and MTV's re-imagining of^ "Teen Wolf" is capable of filling in for Michael J. Fox's film. Those comments filled us with laughter and made us wonder if Williams looks at himself in a funhouse mirror. Good luck replacing a once-in-a-generation phenom. Kemba Walker is small and a scorer, who might struggle to get his shot off as a pro and will require lessons on how to set-up teammates. Jimmer Fredette is slow and suspect on defense. Enes Kanter is intriguing due to his height and experience, but because he was declared ineligible to play in college (so he studied instead), he hasn't suited up since 2009, a troubling time when Charlie Sheen was employed and Osama bin Laden was alive. There are other European candidates, but we know as much about them as we do the metric system (you could easily convince us a "Valanciunas" is a unit of measurement). Bismack Biyombo is a fascinating story (check out his basketball odyssey), but he's raw like an Anthony Weiner twit pic. We'd guess that any significant time Biyombo spends on the court next season will be in the D-League. Kenneth Faried, is also a great story, as a naitve son of Newark and a small school star, but he's a classic 'tweener who won't be a starter in the league and likely won't be called to the stage until the second round. Neither Biyombo nor Faried has received an official invite from the league to attend the draft. With so many recent coaching changes among the teams that have high picks, it's possible one will take Markieff Morris, intending to select Marcus.
Forget trade winds swirling, we don't expect so much as a light breeze (beyond swapping draft picks), considering the collective bargaining agreement expires in one week and no one knows what will become of the salary cap. The lack of wheeling and dealing will contribute to this being a less-than-appealing draft. The "sleepers" this time around will be the viewers.
*Which is not even his worst performance committed to celluloid thanks to Steel
^ By that we mean "ruination"
The rest of the recognizable field contains flaws, too. Derrick Williams is decent, but delusional. He believes he should be the first pick because he has the most "star quality," which is ironic since most of the country hadn't heard of him until NCAA tournament time. Furthermore, he is confident that in Cleveland, he can "fill in for a big star like LeBron." Yes, and MTV's re-imagining of^ "Teen Wolf" is capable of filling in for Michael J. Fox's film. Those comments filled us with laughter and made us wonder if Williams looks at himself in a funhouse mirror. Good luck replacing a once-in-a-generation phenom. Kemba Walker is small and a scorer, who might struggle to get his shot off as a pro and will require lessons on how to set-up teammates. Jimmer Fredette is slow and suspect on defense. Enes Kanter is intriguing due to his height and experience, but because he was declared ineligible to play in college (so he studied instead), he hasn't suited up since 2009, a troubling time when Charlie Sheen was employed and Osama bin Laden was alive. There are other European candidates, but we know as much about them as we do the metric system (you could easily convince us a "Valanciunas" is a unit of measurement). Bismack Biyombo is a fascinating story (check out his basketball odyssey), but he's raw like an Anthony Weiner twit pic. We'd guess that any significant time Biyombo spends on the court next season will be in the D-League. Kenneth Faried, is also a great story, as a naitve son of Newark and a small school star, but he's a classic 'tweener who won't be a starter in the league and likely won't be called to the stage until the second round. Neither Biyombo nor Faried has received an official invite from the league to attend the draft. With so many recent coaching changes among the teams that have high picks, it's possible one will take Markieff Morris, intending to select Marcus.
Forget trade winds swirling, we don't expect so much as a light breeze (beyond swapping draft picks), considering the collective bargaining agreement expires in one week and no one knows what will become of the salary cap. The lack of wheeling and dealing will contribute to this being a less-than-appealing draft. The "sleepers" this time around will be the viewers.
*Which is not even his worst performance committed to celluloid thanks to Steel
^ By that we mean "ruination"
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Putting the 'Champ' in "Champagne"
The good: Mark Cuban splurged on a $90K bottle of bubbly to celebrate with players at a posh club in Miami, generously leaving a $20K tip, that he said was "worth every penny" and likely converting one waiter into a Mavs fan. Cuban had cash to burn after his self-imposed vow of silence reduced the fines routinely levied by the league against him for railing against the refs. Less whine, more wine. Maybe if he had become a monk, his team would've won a title sooner.*
The bad: In accordance with his wait and spree approach, Cuban wants to purchase jewelry to commemorate the championship other than the traditional rings and has suggested bracelets. A few questions arise. Will it be for the wrist or ankle? Is there an option to add a matching necklace and earrings? How many charms are the players allowed to get? Diamons are forever, but bad ideas can also last a lifetime.
The ugly: DeShawn Stevenson said he took extra pleasure in defeating the Heat, who he felt acted "very classless." These comments come from a man who, although he had a secretly successful series, publicly questioned LeBron's efforts in game 4^, engaged in a shoving match during game 6, has a five dollar bill inked across the front of his neck and another tat of a crack descending from his forehead, so on the subject of etiquette he's not exactly Emily Post. Stevenson, whose feud with LeBron dates back to when Soulja Boy -- the Rebecca Black of rapping -- was relevant, is ignoring the advice of the prudent President permanently printed on his person, Abraham Lincoln, who once reasoned, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends with them?"
UPDATE: Stevenson was arrested in Irving, Texas Tuesday night for public intoxication. The summit of sophistication, sir.
*We're willing to (Ti)bet
^We give him credit for being ahead of the criticism curve
The bad: In accordance with his wait and spree approach, Cuban wants to purchase jewelry to commemorate the championship other than the traditional rings and has suggested bracelets. A few questions arise. Will it be for the wrist or ankle? Is there an option to add a matching necklace and earrings? How many charms are the players allowed to get? Diamons are forever, but bad ideas can also last a lifetime.
The ugly: DeShawn Stevenson said he took extra pleasure in defeating the Heat, who he felt acted "very classless." These comments come from a man who, although he had a secretly successful series, publicly questioned LeBron's efforts in game 4^, engaged in a shoving match during game 6, has a five dollar bill inked across the front of his neck and another tat of a crack descending from his forehead, so on the subject of etiquette he's not exactly Emily Post. Stevenson, whose feud with LeBron dates back to when Soulja Boy -- the Rebecca Black of rapping -- was relevant, is ignoring the advice of the prudent President permanently printed on his person, Abraham Lincoln, who once reasoned, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends with them?"
UPDATE: Stevenson was arrested in Irving, Texas Tuesday night for public intoxication. The summit of sophistication, sir.
*We're willing to (Ti)bet
^We give him credit for being ahead of the criticism curve
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The Big Threes
Dallas won three in a row to claim the championship courtesy of it throng of three-point threats. DeShawn Stevenson and Jason Terry, fittingly made three apiece and the team tallied 11 to hold off the Heat and prevent a seventh game. For the Mavericks, three's not just company, it's the guest of honor, valued and distinguished. Considering the Mavs have two of the most successful shooters ever from long-range in Jason Kidd and Peja Stojakovic, there was a surprising source for the threes.
Stevenson's shooting from beyond the arc was beyond believable. He connected on 54% of his tries, hitting 13 in all. He only attempted one two-point field goal in the entire series, which he missed. Stevenson didn't just live at three-point line, he thrived. Kidd made 12 triples, while Stojakovic went 0-for and scored a whopping two points throughout the finals, relegated to watching from the bench in the last two games. Dallas didn't depend on the three, but it did some serious damage with them -- even "The Custodian" chipped in -- leaving Miami's Three Musketeers in tears.
Through three games, both Miami and Dallas were shooting the same percentage from long range, 38.3%. Up to that point, the Heat had actually made 5 more threes, but also attempted 13 additional ones. After that deadlock, Dallas was dominant, making 11 more threes than Miami in games four through six (28 to 17), while shooting just under 44%, compared to Miami's sub-30%. All these triples helped Dallas reach triple digits in games 5 and 6. The Mavs had threes fall, while the Heat went into a free-fall. Miami tried to counter by inserting three-point specialist Eddie House and starting Mario Chalmers in game six, but, despite the season being on the line, Chalmers was ineffective from behind the line (4-6 from outside in game 5, 2-7 in game 6).
What a long, strange trip it's been for the Mavericks. They couldn't have arrived at their desired destination without the triple. Dallas went the distance because they were much better than Miami from long distance.
Stevenson's shooting from beyond the arc was beyond believable. He connected on 54% of his tries, hitting 13 in all. He only attempted one two-point field goal in the entire series, which he missed. Stevenson didn't just live at three-point line, he thrived. Kidd made 12 triples, while Stojakovic went 0-for and scored a whopping two points throughout the finals, relegated to watching from the bench in the last two games. Dallas didn't depend on the three, but it did some serious damage with them -- even "The Custodian" chipped in -- leaving Miami's Three Musketeers in tears.
Through three games, both Miami and Dallas were shooting the same percentage from long range, 38.3%. Up to that point, the Heat had actually made 5 more threes, but also attempted 13 additional ones. After that deadlock, Dallas was dominant, making 11 more threes than Miami in games four through six (28 to 17), while shooting just under 44%, compared to Miami's sub-30%. All these triples helped Dallas reach triple digits in games 5 and 6. The Mavs had threes fall, while the Heat went into a free-fall. Miami tried to counter by inserting three-point specialist Eddie House and starting Mario Chalmers in game six, but, despite the season being on the line, Chalmers was ineffective from behind the line (4-6 from outside in game 5, 2-7 in game 6).
What a long, strange trip it's been for the Mavericks. They couldn't have arrived at their desired destination without the triple. Dallas went the distance because they were much better than Miami from long distance.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sick Move
On an evening when Dirk Nowitzki's shooting was cold by his stellar standards, he was still hot, due to a fever he awoke with, which caused his body temperature to climb to upwards of 102 degrees. Entering the game, it was the Mavs who were feeling the heat; under pressure and under the weather, Dirk delivered.
If his sallow skin, frequent bench breaks, and the towel draped on his head during timeouts weren't obvious indications of his illness, then his missing a free throw -- something he hadn't done so far in the series (and has done only 11 times throughout the course of the playoffs) -- illustrated that he wasn't well (he finished 9-10 from the line). Although he was ailing, he helped Dallas recover to tie (or should we say Tylenol?) the series.
As he did in game two, Nowitzki, burning up, burned the Heat for the Mavericks final field goal. Dirk, with Udonis Haslem hanging all over him, made a driving layup with 14.4 seconds left to put Dallas ahead by 3 points. He finished strong, not letting his fatigue force him into a fadeaway. He may have been queasy, but he made it look easy. While Nowitzki was coughing, the Heat coughed up another fourth quarter lead, an unhealthy pattern that requires immediate attention. Despite a drained Dirk occasionally looking like he might collapse, he didn't. The same can't be said of Miami.
If his sallow skin, frequent bench breaks, and the towel draped on his head during timeouts weren't obvious indications of his illness, then his missing a free throw -- something he hadn't done so far in the series (and has done only 11 times throughout the course of the playoffs) -- illustrated that he wasn't well (he finished 9-10 from the line). Although he was ailing, he helped Dallas recover to tie (or should we say Tylenol?) the series.
As he did in game two, Nowitzki, burning up, burned the Heat for the Mavericks final field goal. Dirk, with Udonis Haslem hanging all over him, made a driving layup with 14.4 seconds left to put Dallas ahead by 3 points. He finished strong, not letting his fatigue force him into a fadeaway. He may have been queasy, but he made it look easy. While Nowitzki was coughing, the Heat coughed up another fourth quarter lead, an unhealthy pattern that requires immediate attention. Despite a drained Dirk occasionally looking like he might collapse, he didn't. The same can't be said of Miami.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Haywood You Play?
Game four at home for the Mavericks is a must-win and the key to victory could center on their big men. Dallas desperately needs Tyson Chandler to step up and backup Brendan Haywood to suit up, especially if their substitutes' shooting stays shaky. Yes, Haywood, who's averaging slightly over 3 points and 4 rebounds in the playoffs, is a side salad to a 16-oz. sirloin (it's better than being the sprig of parsley portrayed by Ian Mahinmi)*, but his presence was missed in game three. Haywood represents more than six fouls and relief for Chandler when he's winded. He can disrupt shots or at least deter James and Wade from making a beeline to the baseline as often as they have. If Haywood plays, which looks like it will be a game time decision, it allows Chandler to be more aggressive on defense, knowing a capable, veteran replacement is at the ready, should he get into foul trouble. Defense off the bench begins and ends with Haywood, since Carlisle has only allowed "the Custodian" to mop up for a minute, max (that's less time than the ball boys were seen sopping up a spilled drink on Sunday).
Chandler is limited on offense, but he must be more assertive than his 1-4 performance in game three; the Mavs can't afford for him to play Joel Anthony to a draw on offense (in 17 more minutes). The Mavs should try to get him involved early on by setting him up for some good looks from in close. Last time we checked, Jason Kidd still knew how to throw an alley-oop.
We'd advocate playing both bigs simultaneously for stretches and sliding Nowitzki to the three (or going with three guard, like Barea, Kidd and Stevenson, who's made 6-9 threes in the series, one more than Dirk). That size advantage, while slowing them down to be more susceptible to transition points, would free up space for their guards to slash to the basket and potentially help those shooters regain their confidence, and could prove stifling on defense (Miami couldn't counter this tactic, since Spoelstra isn't using Ilgauskas or Dampier, despite our earlier advice). Haywood has said he needs to be at 70 percent strength in order to play with his strained right hip flexor; if he isn't in uniform, Miami will be secretly shouting "hip, hip hooray!"
*That steak analogy is dedicated to the Dallas sports fans. And it was well-done.
Chandler is limited on offense, but he must be more assertive than his 1-4 performance in game three; the Mavs can't afford for him to play Joel Anthony to a draw on offense (in 17 more minutes). The Mavs should try to get him involved early on by setting him up for some good looks from in close. Last time we checked, Jason Kidd still knew how to throw an alley-oop.
We'd advocate playing both bigs simultaneously for stretches and sliding Nowitzki to the three (or going with three guard, like Barea, Kidd and Stevenson, who's made 6-9 threes in the series, one more than Dirk). That size advantage, while slowing them down to be more susceptible to transition points, would free up space for their guards to slash to the basket and potentially help those shooters regain their confidence, and could prove stifling on defense (Miami couldn't counter this tactic, since Spoelstra isn't using Ilgauskas or Dampier, despite our earlier advice). Haywood has said he needs to be at 70 percent strength in order to play with his strained right hip flexor; if he isn't in uniform, Miami will be secretly shouting "hip, hip hooray!"
*That steak analogy is dedicated to the Dallas sports fans. And it was well-done.
Monday, June 6, 2011
A Sight for Sore Eyes
For once, it was appropriate when Chris Bosh let loose one of his primal, Howard Dean-like screams. That's because Bosh, who at times has appeared as unsure of himself and nervous as a Michael Cera character, came through at crunch time (although it helped that LeBron set him up superbly) with a big basket. Bosh, who was born in Dallas, hit what proved to be the game-winner in a two-point victory, narrowly nixing another fourth quarter Mavs rally, which shifted the series ever-so-slightly back in Miami's favor. This after a final five-plus minutes of a dazzling duel between Dirk and Dwayne (12 and 7 straight points, respectively) that we wished would never end (Nowitzki nearly sent it to overtime).
Bosh swelled with pride, as his eye swelled with irritation, having been struck early in the game. Bosh was 2-9 at halftime, but upgraded his shooting in the second half to 5-9, becoming Bosh.0. On his heroic hoop, Bosh was wide open, even if his eyelid wasn't*. It's ironic that his shooting was dead eye following the poke to his peepers, since he entered the game shooting as if his vision was impaired, with a field goal percentage of 26 (9-34), lending credence to the belief that the Heat were two and a half men, not a trio. His jumper was like an iceberg: cold and adrift. We'll have to see whether this was a true turning point for Bosh in the series or a case of blind luck. At least for one night, Bosh had the eye of the tiger.
*You could say he was eye-solated.
Bosh swelled with pride, as his eye swelled with irritation, having been struck early in the game. Bosh was 2-9 at halftime, but upgraded his shooting in the second half to 5-9, becoming Bosh.0. On his heroic hoop, Bosh was wide open, even if his eyelid wasn't*. It's ironic that his shooting was dead eye following the poke to his peepers, since he entered the game shooting as if his vision was impaired, with a field goal percentage of 26 (9-34), lending credence to the belief that the Heat were two and a half men, not a trio. His jumper was like an iceberg: cold and adrift. We'll have to see whether this was a true turning point for Bosh in the series or a case of blind luck. At least for one night, Bosh had the eye of the tiger.
*You could say he was eye-solated.
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