It Could Be Verse

Back in his college days, J.J. Redick composed some poems, proving his passion for perimeter lines and pentameter ones. Now that he's sidelined with an injury, he's got some time on his hands (just because he's in the pros doesn't mean he only writes prose). In a exclusive, we have his latest work, The Ballad of the Bench-Warmer.

I sit in a suit and watch from the pine
As my coach continues to whine and whine
There's no ref or call he won't bash
He's uptight for a man with a porn moustache
Stan Van and his star are emotional wrecks
It's no wonder Dwight has 17 techs.

I make plans to party 'til dawn*
With fellow Dukie Chris Duhon
I see Ryan Andersen shoot a three
And oh, how I wish that was me
He reminds me I dearly miss my vocation
As the only other white guy in the rotation.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating
It's not what's eating Gilbert, but what's Gilbert eating?
Never again will he be a starter
His effort is low, recalling Vince Carter
Turkoglu throws another errant pass
That had no chance of reaching Brandon Bass.

Depleted roster leads to another loss
Our bench is thinner than Kate Moss
Just think, I used to be another Duke a-hole
But now I fulfill a critical role
A small victory I've surely won
Just by out-lasting Adam Morrison.

*Ok, I lied -- we're going to Cinnabon