The Lockout Hits a New Lowe's

It seems Delonte West would rather watch paint dry - and get paid to do so - than sit idly waiting for the lockout to end. West has applied for a job at a hardware store. If West has filled out his forms honestly, he'll have noted that he attended but didn't complete college and that he's a convicted criminal with weapons charges to his name. Why would West pursue low-level labor? Well, skull and crossbones neck tattoo tend to scare off those in corporate world (and you can't wear turtlenecks to the office everyday to cover it up). West made over $850K last season, so we don't think a modest hourly wage will allow him to sustain his lifestyle. We're skewering him so savagely because, whether he realize it or not, he's making a mockery of the plight of people who are genuinely struggling to scrape by and someone who earns nearly a million per year should be capable of saving some money for situations such as this.

West's menial job hunt isn't without precedent. During his rookie year, Ron Artest applied at Best Buy because he coveted the employee discount. Turns out it's not illegal immigrants who are stealing work from average, assiduous Americans , it's NBA players. Whether West wants to stock screws because several of his are loose, there are two pertinent questions: 1. He can nail a jumper and grab a board, but can he sell nails and boards? 2. Did he put down Gloria James as a reference?