Some like it Haute

Is there a better way to usher in your birthday than with Usher?* That's how Dwyane Wade celebrated his 30th yesterday, along with a performances by Common, T.I., Rick Ross and Kelly Rowland, at a high-end hotel in Miami, where the only Union talked about was his girlfriend, Gabrielle. Was there a gift so grand that it would shame Santa and make it seem like he shops at the Salvation Army? Such a stupid and strange question! We're mentioning a mingling of multi-millionaires, of course there was! Wade was given a brand new $200K+ McLaren by a local dealership. So if you, inspired by those commercials run during the holidays, bought him a Lexus, you might want to return it and save yourself the embarrassment because that luxury car looks like a Matchbox one in comparison. Did we mention the McLaren was airlifted in? That makes the carbon footprint on delivery as large as Wade's own footprint. If we sound judgmental, it's just out of jealousy. Our 30th is coming up and since our guest list is shorter than Earl Boykins, we doubt there'll be a single rapper in attendance (so much for our hopes of getting hammered with MC Hammer and sharing vanilla icing with Vanilla Ice) and no indulgent ride, save for a pony one (we swear, Mr. farmer, we're not too big).

Unlike at LeBron's birthday bash earlier in the month, there was no declining of decadent desserts (we'll bet that Tim Duncan thinks Duncan Hines is good enough). Among Wade's presents was a bottle of Dom Perignon from the year he was born: 1982. Perhaps he can pop it when he has something truly worth celebrating - say, a championship (or 8) with James, Bosh & co. For now, he'll have to settle for funfetti in place of confetti.

Don't put that bubbly on ice yet, because while Wade was handed a whip, he wasn't on the court that night while the Heat whipped the Spurs. Wade is sidelined by an ankle sprain. The good news is the Heat improved to 4-0 without Wade in the lineup. The bad new is the team is a modest 5-4 when Wade plays. It's an oversimplification to state that the Heat are better minus Wade, the lone title-winner in the trio, but there is growing evidence that James and Bosh have more clearly defined roles and also feel more comfortable in the offense (as the alpha and beta) when pared down to a pair. There is less hesitation and more domination from James (he is less passive when he makes less passes), while the extra possessions Bosh is allotted allow him to establish a rhythm. There are many layers to this issue and sorting it all out won't be a piece of cake.

*Lil' Jon just shouted, "Yeah!" But out of habit, not because he disagreed.