There was no Christmas bonus for Larry Brown. In fact, his stocking was stuffed with a pink slip. Over the holidays, Bobcats owner and noted tongue sticker-outer Michael Jordan parted ways with his Hall of Fame coach and fellow North Carolina alum, making the most itinerant coach in the league a free agent. Erik Spoelstra just started sweating profusely.
The question isn't why Brown left, since his stays are always short and the Bobcats are bad, but who Jordan will bring in to succeed him -- because you don't replace a HOF coach (Hubie Brown doesn't want that kind of headache; Memphis was enough of a migraine). At least temporarily, Paul Silas gets a second go-round with a Charlotte-based team, but what, exactly, is Jordan's long-term plan? He already bungled the departure of one other Tar Heel, Raymond Felton, who left as a free agent, is having the best statistical season of his career and couldn't be happier throwing lob passes to A'mare. Brown's whiny and wishy-washy ways can wear on a team, but keep in mind this is a man who managed to lead the Clippers to the playoffs, a feat amazing enough to qualify him for basketball sainthood. Does Jordan have intentions of stepping out of the owner's box and onto the sidelines a la Pat Riley? Or did Jordan really believe that Brown underachieved with a ragtag roster of players who seem more suited to rounding out a D-League squad? No coach has a better track record of converting losers into winners. Not even Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks.
We don't see the Bobcats luring a coach anywhere near as accomplished and established, especially since they haven't even convinced a top-flight player to settle in Charlotte. Sure, the the Mike Browns of the world are available, but he still has much to prove (namely, 1. can he win games without LeBron? 2. can he wear the same pair of glasses more than once?) and is he any better than Paul Silas? The Bobcats couldn't afford to downgrade at another position.
Maybe Brown wasn't forced out, maybe he asked out. Even though he's not suiting up - as far as we know - Jordan is the indisputable face and leader of the franchise (even more so now), but currently this team is more painful to watch than his Hanes commercials.* We hope Jordan realizes that changing coaches isn't comparable to changing underwear (for starters, coaches seldom come in three-packs).
*Don't you sully the good name of bacon by using it to describe a wrinkled shirt collar.
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