Kahn Job

Following the draft lottery, T-Wolves GM David Kahn (in this case, the GM is an acronym for general moron) is crying conspiracy. Dan Gilbert had his 14-year-old son, who suffers from a nervous disorder, represent the Cavs at the podium. And why not? He's a better face of the franchise than any of the vagabond players, and after his comic sans outburst, Gilbert has more common sense than to put himself out front. No one will boo a boy, but Kahn saw fit to blame one. That's harsher than a Minnesota winter.

Kahn floated the idea that the NBA powers that be made the ping pong balls bounce the sick kid's way to set up a storybook ending for the sympathetic, stricken figure. That theory is ill-conceived. He's just upset because he wanted the number one pick so he could draft yet another point guard. Kahn's well on his way to ruining a team like he was the valedictorian at the Isiah Thomas School of Management. The system isn't rigged. In fact, it's structured in such a way that a team can't tank the season and be assured the highest pick. At most, it's just a bit of bad luck (and really not even, when you factor in that the Cavs had a higher statistical chance of drafting first since they possessed two picks) Kahn's already plenty lucky to still have his job, considering the team has won a total of 32 games during his tenure and his dubious decision to sign/overpay Darko Milicic as a free agent, a player who wanted to leave the league.

The line of the night, "What's not to like?*," was charmingly uttered by Gilbert's son after being asked to describe himself by a reporter. It was intended to be rhetorical, but Kahn chose to reply and came off as jealous and petty. Kahn attacked the league's integrity, but in doing so, revealed to have none of his own. Next time, leave the howling to actual wolves.

Post-script: Kahn has since backed down from his comments, claiming he was kidding. As a joke, it was received like a Leno one -- no one's laughing.

*If this turns out to be a conspiracy, look for that phrase to become the NBA's slogan next season. And watch for Nick Gilbert to land an internship with Ernst & Young.