Friday, September 28, 2012

IDKNY

Here's a riddle for you: What's black and white and difficult to view? No, not The Artist, the ugly uniforms unveiled this week for the Brooklyn Nets cheerleaders. Designer David Dalrymple wanted to show the city's scrappy side - "It's a different sensibility. We go hard," he told the New York Post - but it's the seedy side he's succeeded in stressing. Oh, it's hard - hard to look at. Lots of latex, front-zippers, studded knee-high boots, fingerless gloves and a Zubaz-esque leotard - all so tight even the pants of the borough's horde of hipsters can't compare*.

There are seven costumes, which coincidentally is the same as the number of deadly sins, but while these outfits may provoke anger and lust, they won't elicit envy. What do we make of the makeover? Well, if the Nets players fail to dominate their opponent, at least they can call on the cheerleaders to do so, S&M-style.

*also, at least as much vinyl as a hipster's record collection.

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