For most of his career, no one has been able to cover Kobe Bryant. Lately, no one can recover like him. Bryant tore his Achilles in April, but Lakers VP Jim Buss believes he'll be back by the preseason in October, meaning the heel will have healed in a superhuman six months. Given Kobe's potent regenerative powers, it's a wonder he wasn't cast as Wolverine instead of Hugh Jackman (the latter does have the acting chops to match the requisite mutton chops). But Bryant's boss could be wrong; after all, when does a Buss ever stay on schedule?
Having been shunned by Dwight Howard and shrewdly stepped back from signing Andrew Bynum, the Mavericks settled on stopgap Samuel Dalembert, who will suit up for his fifth team in as many seasons. Decks of cards at casinos have been shuffled less. Sorry for hatin' on the Haitian, but Dalembert is softer than camembert.
Talk about a dis-Funch-tional relationship. Six years after filing for divorce, Dwyane Wade and his ex-wife, Siohvaughn Funches finalized a financial settlement. Wade, who has already been paying Funches bunches of cash, $25K per month, which covers a casa and a quartet of cars, will shell out a lump sum of $5 million. That works out to one mill. per year of marriage. Who says love don't cost a thing?*
*That's the last time we listen to Jennifer Lopez and/or Nick Cannon.
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