Pierre the Pelican, who has been terrifying tykes (making the mascot more of a repelican), underwent beak reduction surgery, the team reported. Let's hope the doctor who operated on him wasn't a quack. Next up in New Orleans to go under the knife: (or at least the razor) Anthony Davis' unibrow*.
A Lil' Help: Damian Lillard will do everything short of selling popcorn and peanuts in the stands, participating in a quintet of All-Star weekend exhibitions. The Trailblazer is blazing a trail by being the first player to compete in every event. He'll need an IV by the time he's finished all V.
Railing off-the-rails: This is one loss that won't bother the Knicks a bit. Stephen A. Smith said he won't defend the Knicks anymore^. "I've jumped off the train," he hollered on ESPN. If only he jumped in front of it.
Baby boomshakalaka: Micheal Jordan's new wife, a model 15 years younger than him, gave birth to identical twin girls on Tuesday. It's nice to announce a pair of heir Jordans(extremely limited edition) that Nike had nothing to do with.
*fact: this weekend, Davis' amount of All-Star appearances and eyebrows will be equal.
^this makes sense, since the Knicks don't defend anyone, why should anyone defend them?
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