Boogie's Nights

Although he's averaging 22 and 11 this season, both career-bests, people have been slow to sing DeMarcus Cousins' praises, so he'll sing them himself. Cousins, recording under the musical moniker Boogie Smooth, is readying to release an R&B record, entitled Misunderstood. Clearly, Cousins wants us to feel his T-Pain. The first single is called "Emotional," an appropriate anthem for the man tied for the league lead in technicals. Cousins plans to put the 'ball' in "ballad."

Did the arrival of Rudy Gay inspire DeMarcus Cousins to become the next Marvin Gaye? Alas, the album isn't genuine (or should we say Ginuwine?). It was all an elaborate April Fool's ruse. This means the only R. Kelly Cousins will cover in the near future is Lakers power forward Ryan (and we don't believe he can fly).

Nothing But Love

Last season, Kevin Love was a lone wolf - or, as fans of The Hangover might phrase it, a "one-man wolfpack" - for Minnesota, which is why it was beyond baffling that the franchise didn't sign him to a maximum contract extension in January. We're not sure what more the organization had to see from the player Charles Barkley constantly calls "the best power forward in the game." Love will have to lead the Timberwolves hunt for a post-season berth on his own again, now that rousing and radiant rookie Ricky Rubio* has torn his ACL. Ironically, the injury occurred while guarding Kobe Bryant, whom Rubio taunted in the locker room following a previous meeting between the Lakers and Wolves, regarding this year's summer Olympics, which Rubio will now miss, making it a doubly devastating injury, since he can't compete for Spain, a strong contender to capture gold in London. He's about as valuable to his NBA club as gold. The pure point guard was 5th in the league in assists per game and third overall in steals. He ranked first in both of those categories among first-year players. All it took was one game without Rubio for the T-Wolves to surrender their shaky grip on the last playoff space in the West. The sting of losing Rubio was worsened by the sting of losing to the Hornets, who entered the contest tied for the second-fewest wins in the league.

Since the T-Wolves have been terrible for over half a decade (their last winning season was 2004-05), there hasn't been much, shall we say, "northern exposure," on TV, so we first fell for Rubio when he went between-the-legs of DeMarcus Cousins on a fastbreak during the Rising Stars Challenge. He puts mustard on passes like we put it on hot dogs - and without hot dogging, differentiating him from Jason Williams, who was flashy, but not fundamentally sound^. Love and Rubio have the potential to be a level-headed version of Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury and that had to give Minnesotans non-weather-related chills. Love is an expert at rebounding, but his squad will have a tough task bouncing back from this untimely event. Maybe Love should take Rubio to a movie, to get theirs minds off of the misfortune, but probably not 21 Jump Street, since Rubio is 21, can't jump for the next three-quarters of a year and will be in street clothes watching the Wolves playoff push.

*Try saying that three times fast.
If Williams was "White Chocolate," Rubio is raw cocoa bean.

The 'Phal Guy

This is a story of how the Westphal was lost. It's a very short story. Kings coach Paul Westphal was 51-120 in two seasons, so Sacramento sacked him a scant seven games into this lockout-curtailed campaign. We understand that everything has been accelerated in this unusually short season, but either give the guy a little more time or make the move prior to the season getting underway. Coaching transactions weren't restricted during the lockout; it was only players who weren't free to pursue jobs. A 2-5 start for a team filled with callow players (the few veterans have always been reserves) and zero playoff expectations isn't abnormal.

Aside from the characteristic impatience of the Maloof brothers (imagine a pair of Mark Cubans, only dim and douchebaggy),two events sent Westphal packing early. First, Keith Smart was brought in as an assistant by the owners. A coach typically selects his staff, but the Maloofs cleary tabbed Smart to be Westphal's successor, he simply took over much sooner than was planned. Keep in mind, Smart is the same man who was ousted from Golden State after just one year, where he went 36-46. Second, Westphal failed to reign in or reach the talented but troublesome DeMarcus Cousins, at one point ordering Cousins to stay away from the team for supposedly demanding a trade, which Cousins has denied doing.

The Maloofs, whose fortunes comes from casinos, gambled on the combative Cousins. Now, they've doubled down by dismissing the coach. At least Smart has a keen grasp of the situation. When asked what he needs to do in regards to Cousins, that Westphal didn't, Smart said, "Probably have a good relationship with him." The cards may be stacked against Smart because the man he's dealing with isn't playing with a full deck.