Bird is the Word

It's safe to say Pacers president Larry Bird found his team's second straight loss to the Heat H-A-R-D to take. After the game, he put a spell on his team, so to speak, adding a bit of verbal abuse to the physical pounding the Pacers endured at the hands - and elbows - of the hotheaded Heat. He called his squad "soft" and then spelled it for emphasis. Reporters did not follow-up by asking Bird for the word's etymology and he declined to expound on what he meant by the monosyllabic adjective. We expect Bird will follow the Scripps Bee's rules and not spell again until the next round. We're not the newly christened executive of the year, but we don't understand how insulting your players - whether intentionally or impudently - is a shrewd strategy. That's our F-I-R-M belief.

H-A-R-D is how we would define the Heat's fouls, but only because we don't feel like spelling 'malevolent.' If people were searching for additional reasons to hate the Heat, Udonis Haslem and Dexter Pittman provided plenty in game 5. Pittman, who must've studied at the Metta World Peace Institute for Excessive Elbowing*, acted as if he was playing Pit-Fighter, not basketball. Thuggish tactics aren't limited to tyros. Haslem and Juwan Howard, veterans who should know better, have both behaved like bullies, retaliating like raging rogues. What's next, brandishing a lance at Lance Stephenson?

*accreditation pending

Back and Fourth

While the last quartet of teams was being determined in college basketball on Sunday, a far more fascinating "Final Four" was taking place: a quadruple overtime game between Utah and Atlanta, the first since 1997 and just the ninth such contest in league history. The Hawks went on to win 139-133, despite this being the team's third game in three nights, snapping the Jazz's string of six straight victories. 233 shots were attempted, a symmetrical seven players on each squad scored in double figures and the teams combined for only 21 turnovers. Here are four other standout moments from the shortened but significant season, in the order they occured:

1. February 6: Kobe Bryant moves into fifth on the NBA's all-time scoring supplanting former ally and adversary Shaq. The Big Studio Analyst was complimentary, declaring Kobe, "the greatest Laker ever." Asked if there was special significance in superseding Shaq, Kobe says, "No. It was inevitable."* As certain as him taking the last shot in a close game, as assured as the Lakers overtaking the Clippers in the standings, as pre-determined as Mike Brown being blamed for the squad's shortcomings.

2. February 7: Paul Pierce passes Larry Bird to move into second place on the Celtics scoring list, with 21,797 points, in an otherwise meaningless game against the Bobcats. Bostonians have a hard time accepting "The Truth" that Larry Legend has been lowered a level and contemplate carrying out the plot of Celtic Pride as a solution to their problem.

3. February 19: Two-time league scoring leader Kevin Durant hits the half-century mark in game, piling up a career-high 51 points. Russell Westbrook, trailing closely, nets 41, and Serge Ibaka tallies his first-ever triple-double, with 14 points, 15 rebounds and 11 blocks. It's the third time Ibaka has recorded 10 or more blocks this season, making Mt. Mutombo shrink to the size of a hill. The man erases more than a no. 2 pencil of a sloppy student.

4. March 14: Rajon Rondo registers his second triple-double in three games (and fourth of the season), with 18 points, 20 assists and a career-best 17 rebounds for his 17th overall triple-double. The last player to have 17 or more points, plus dimes and boards, in a game was Magic Johnson in 1989. Inspired by a scene in Good Will Hunting, Rondo presses the stat sheet against the window of GM Danny Ainge's office, shouting, "I got these numbers. How do you like them apples?" Then, he proceeds to make love to Minnie Driver

*His drive is almost as impressive as what he drives.

Puffy and Pass

Here's what we liked about All-Star Saturday:

Chase Budinger taking a feed from Puff Daddy and flying over him to flush it to open the Slam Dunk Contest and affirm that white men can jump...over short (not Jermaine Dupri short) rap impresarios. The only thing that would've made the jump better was if it was over Kriss Kross. Congratulations to another unexpected Jeremy - Jeremy Evans - who pleaded to be included by posting videos of himself hopping on YouTube, then proceeded to win it, Jazzing up a jump by donning a Karl Malone uniform, then hurdling Kevin Hart dressed as a mailman. Paul George glowed, but then he glowered in the days after, insulting the fans' intelligence - this from the guy who called Larry Bird "Larry Brown" before his last dunk - and criticized the competition. Well, Furious George, the weekend is for the fans and fans deserve to cast the deciding votes, which they did for the first time. Still, for a leap year, the Dunk Contest was a disappointment.

The elder statesman prevailing in the Skills Challenge. The third time was the charm for Tony Parker, who came in last the previous two times he participated. Kyrie Irving might've showed some of his fatigue from Friday, when he was the MVP of the Rising Stars game (swishing all 8 of the 3-point attempts), finishing at the back of the pack. We must point out that Parker is a decade older than Irving.

The trio of tie-breakers. There was one in the Skills Challenge and a duo of draws in the 3-point shooting contest, which prompted players to give a greater effort and made the events more competitive. Anthony Morrow's retro Nets jersey wasn't just a throwback, it was a tribute to the late Drazen Petrovic. There aren't a lot of Nets worthy of being honored, so kudos to Morrow for knowing the franchise's history. For older fans, it was a trip(le) down memory lane.