Tony Parker Can't Lose*

Tony Parker may have signed a four-year contract extension last month, but he's still going to be a free agent of sorts. His wife, Eva Longoria, has filed for divorce. Ironic that the Desperate Housewives star is paving the way for him to rendezvous with numerous housewives, desperate or otherwise. As if being newly single and recently made richer wasn't enough, Parker has steered the Spurs to the best record in the league at 12-1. San Antonio has won 11 straight games, so whatever discord there might be in his personal life, it hasn't affected his play one bit. In fact, Parker is dishing and swishing superbly. His scoring is up 3.5 points per game from last season and he's handing out almost 2 more assists in each contest as compared to 09-10.

The alleged reason for the split is that Parker was having an affair with a mutual friend and while that's difficult to defend, we have two points: 1. "Monogamy" isn't a word in the European vocabulary (neither is "mouthwash") and 2. It's still better than sleeping with a teammate's mom (we're staring suspiciously at you, Delonte West). Re-signing with San Antonio means Parker will probably finish his career with the team that drafted him (as will Duncan and Ginobili), a rare occurrence these days, so even if Parker wasn't loyal to his spouse, he is to the Spurs. Although it pains us to praise a Parisian, Parker has been overlooked for the bulk of his career, as the media fawns over a flashier, newer point guard every year: Roy, Rose and now Westbrook. So here's a toast. A French toast.


*This is the first of what will likely be many references to failed Fox sitcoms. Wait until you read what player we've determined is suffering from Arrested Development. Yes, we can be quite The Critic, but at least we keep you in The Loop. Maybe we'll go back and change the last post's title to "Greg the Bunny Oden."