Yes, We Cancel

It figures. We have a man in the White House who's passionate about basketball, enough so to invite players over for pickup games, and somehow a lockout is about to occur while he's in the Oval Office. It's looking like more jobs will be lost under his watch. Curiously, the last time an NBA lockout happened, 1998-1999, was also the last time a Democrat was living in the White House (Bill Clinton loved college b-ball too, but not to the extent that he invited an expert to help him fill out his NCAA tournament bracket, which Obama does for the women's side, too, and yet there was no bigger fan of women than Clinton).

Obama needs to take action. If Congress can insert itself into baseball to investigate steroids, then surely the President can intervene to save the NBA season. Speaking with David Stern is bound to be more productive than meeting with John Boehner (and there should be less crying). Please, President Obama, give us what you ran on in 2008: hope. Better yet, give us hoops.

Historically, Republicans have known how to strike fear in the hearts of unions. Does this mean we should vote for a GOP candidate in 2012? Considering the name of his family's vacation home, we don't think Rick Perry would be an effective broker in lifting the lockout. Unless he threatened to put all the players on death row if they didn't suit up. Ron Paul would eliminate referees and allow players to regulate themselves, causing chaos. Mitt Romney would be in favor of health care for players in one meeting and then against it in the next session. The concern isn't that he's a Mormon, it's that he's a moron. Herman Cain might be able to deliver us pro hoops. At the very least, he can deliver us pizza. Because if it's not possible for us to be both fat and happy, we still want to be fat.