LeBron James wasn't interested in dunking in the recent All-Star event, but it seems Dunkin' is interested in him. In what we're calling "The Doughcision," Dunkin' Donuts has signed LeBron to an endorsement contract to promote its products in Asia, specifically China, where the company currently operates 150 stores and plans to open approximately 100 more within the next three years, on top of the 5,400 locations throughout the continent, generating some serious cha-ching in Beijing and beyond. LeBron's duties will include appearing in stores; for an entrance maybe he can toss powdered sugar in the air, instead of his usual talcum powder. He won't just declare eclairs delicious because the menu varies by region and pork doughnuts are among the choices in China - why not introduce this item in the U.S., where people are prone to pig out? We can't help but be jealous that all Americans have is jelly and the doughnut burger - aka the only reason to ever attend a minor league baseball game.
If Krispy Kreme is considering countering, we recommend recruiting Jeremy Lin to sell sweets stateside, since he's the only thing hotter than a glazed doughnut fresh off the assembly line (and Krispy Kreme can advise him on the dangers of getting too big, too fast). The more obvious choice to us - at least based on appellation and applying the Radio Shack enlisting Shaq as a spokesman method - would've been Tim Duncan, but maybe he can reach a deal with Tim Horton's. After all, Canadians need their crullers, too*.
*Bonus points for being pitched by a mild-mannered man. Our neighbors to the north like both their personalities and pastries plain.
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