Trail(blazer) of Tears

While college basketball goes through March Madness, the NBA is experiencing an emotional breakdown of its own, when it comes to dealing with all the deals before the trade deadline. There's sorrow, as an unidentified young girl throws a tantrum after being told Gerald Wallace has been sent packing from Portland.* We doubt anyone in the Wallace household had such a strong reaction to the news. Although we do admire her attachment to and passion for a player who'd been with the Blazers for only one season and applaud her awareness that no person should suffer the sentence of being shipped against their will to the netherworld known as Newark, New Jersey, we believe this lends credence to the adage that children, like female Fox News anchors, are meant to be seen, not heard.

Another aphorism states that silence is golden, but not in Golden State, where the fiance of Warriors owner Joe Lacob is fuming, following his decision to deal Monta Ellis. Lacob told reporters two days after the trade that she still hasn't spoken to him. It seems she was BFFs with Ellis' spouse. We're not sure their relationship will work; He's management and she needs anger management. You might want to inquire if Landy Fields' couch is still available, Joe.

Finally, after the tears dry and the anger fades, there's confusion. In the NCAA tournament, this was felt on Friday when two #2 seeds were ousted within 3 hours of each other - should you feel happy for the small schools and witnessing history or pissed that your bracket is broken like Kobe Bryant's nose (you wonder if wearing a mask will hide your embarrassment or accentuate it), busted like George Clooney at an African embassy (just because it's March doesn't mean you have to march). Houston, do we have a problem? Derek Fisher appears to have gone fishin', failing to report to the Rockets, but the team hasn't said they want him there, either, so maybe he was told to stay away. Kobe Bryant, who's been close to Fisher for years, was quizzed on Fisher's feelings about leaving the Lakers: "You guys got to ask Derek. He's much more politically correct than I am ... Talk to Derek about it. I'm sure he'll answer it the way he best sees fit." If Fisher's as diplomatic as Kobe asserts and also has no interest in backing up Kyle Lowry, perhaps it's not too late for him to enter the GOP field. It's the one race the 37-year-old can win without breaking a sweat. Frankly, we'd welcome having another Little Rock, Arkansas native in the White House and another President who's passionate about basketball.

*So far, no footage has surfaced of her pitching a fit over the firing of coach Nate McMillan.