We feel four-tunate because the playoffs commence today with a quadruple-header. Here's what we see happening in the opening round of the Western Conference:
#1 Spurs vs. #8 Jazz: People slept on the well-rested Spurs almost all season, like Jeremy Lin slumbered on sibling's and ex-Stanford student's sofas, so it's fitting they're facing a team with two z's in its name, since this series will be a snooze. Wake us when it's over. We believe the Jazz will be rudely shown the door the way Uncle Phil did with Jazz on The Fresh Prince.
#2 Thunder vs. #7 Mavericks: This season, it's as if 2011 Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki has been gun-slinging using a pea shooter - averaging his lowest ppg since '99-00 - while three-time league leader in scoring Kevin Durant has been firing a bazooka. The Mav with the most intensity wearing a jersey is Mark Cuban.
#3 Lakers vs. #6 Nuggets: Class is now in Sessions, Ramon (0 playoff appearances). Participation is part of your final grade, Andrew Bynum (8.2 ppg in 21.6 mpg in 62 career postseason contests). Where's Metta World Peace? Oh, suspended by the principal. I should've guessed. Kobe, to pass the course, you must demonstrate a willingness to pass the ball, but if your teammates miss easy shots, we can turn this into an independent study.
#4 Clippers vs. #5 Grizzlies: Beware of a bear trap, Clippers. It might take Davy Crockett to dispatch this ursine unit. One squad dunks, the other defends (fifth-fewest points allowed), guess which wins in the playoffs?
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