TV has taught us that breaking is bad, but some is good. We're off for the next dozen days, headed to the native lands of Ben Gordon and Tony Parker, respectively, on what we're titling, "The Underpants Tour." Until we return, you'll have to entertain yourselves (keep in mind, it's pathetic for a man to join Pinterest, so just behave normally and re-read the footnotes in The Book of Basketball and continue conducting experiments to determine if Michael Jordan's Flight cologne in its most concentrated form can increase your vertical jump). You could attempt the cinnamon challenge, like noted nitwits JaVale McGee and Nick Young, but for a tastier test, we suggest trying to consume a cookie Dwight Howard-style*.
* Look, Stan Van - no hands!
Showing posts with label JaVale McGee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JaVale McGee. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Flip Out
Nobody beats the Wiz*, but everybody beats the Wizards and so Flip Saunders was told to turn in his robes, pointy hat and wand today (or whatever he wore on the sidelines), becoming the second coach to be sent packing this season, having steered -or, more aptly, swerved sloppily - Washington to the worst record in the league. The Wizards stumbled from the start, losing their first 8 games and have dropped three straight. They're on the road to nowhere, as they've yet to win an away contest.
Interestingly, the current crop of Wizards closely resemble those from the Wizard of Oz. John Wall, who is in the midst of a sophomore slump, as his assists per game and shooting percentage have declined, is the cowardly lion; he lacks courage (Wall has more than hit the wall; he's struck an electric fence). Andre Blatche, who re-defined 'impatience' when after the first game he complained that he wasn't getting enough shots, is the Tin Man; he lacks heart. Finally, there's JaVale McGee, who was pulled from a game after throwing a pass to himself off the backboard, is the Scarecrow; he lacks a brain. Or maybe it's actually his mom, who's clueless, since she described him as "the future of the NBA," while offering up some pointers on how to properly coach her kid (read it and you'll see why, at least in her estimation, he can't be the Tin Man).
We're guessing she thinks NBA stands for "Nifty Backboard Assist." Mrs. McGee does have a hoops pedigree - she won two collegiate championships and played in the WNBA - but she's showing a mama's bias when it comes to her baby boy. She says she'd never "throw players under a bus," like she felt Saunders, who went 51-130 in three-plus seasons, did. If we were in charge, we'd leave some of these passionless players off the bus altogether.
*Except that bastard Best Buy, which also cruelly crumbled a (Circuit) City.
Interestingly, the current crop of Wizards closely resemble those from the Wizard of Oz. John Wall, who is in the midst of a sophomore slump, as his assists per game and shooting percentage have declined, is the cowardly lion; he lacks courage (Wall has more than hit the wall; he's struck an electric fence). Andre Blatche, who re-defined 'impatience' when after the first game he complained that he wasn't getting enough shots, is the Tin Man; he lacks heart. Finally, there's JaVale McGee, who was pulled from a game after throwing a pass to himself off the backboard, is the Scarecrow; he lacks a brain. Or maybe it's actually his mom, who's clueless, since she described him as "the future of the NBA," while offering up some pointers on how to properly coach her kid (read it and you'll see why, at least in her estimation, he can't be the Tin Man).
We're guessing she thinks NBA stands for "Nifty Backboard Assist." Mrs. McGee does have a hoops pedigree - she won two collegiate championships and played in the WNBA - but she's showing a mama's bias when it comes to her baby boy. She says she'd never "throw players under a bus," like she felt Saunders, who went 51-130 in three-plus seasons, did. If we were in charge, we'd leave some of these passionless players off the bus altogether.
*Except that bastard Best Buy, which also cruelly crumbled a (Circuit) City.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)