After appearing to have Steve Kerr on the hook, but failing to reel him in, Phil Jackson cast his bait* towards a candidate easier to lure. The Zen Master isn't much of a fisherman, but he is a Fisher man. Here's the catch with his catch: Fisher has never coached a single second at any level. That didn't deter James Dolan from doling out $5 million a year for him, an amount Fisher earned annually only four times during his 18-year career. Incredibly, that high salary is actually market price, since it matches Kerr's contract, but considering it's a mere 1 mill. less than Gregg Popovich is paid, the money makes him a goldfish.
Fisher will be swimming upstream, similar to a salmon, fighting against the current, to keep the current Knicks afloat^. Hall of Famer Larry Brown lasted a lone season in NYC, so Fisher could easily flounder.
"Fancy" that: Ah, Young love. Lakers guard Nick Young and Australian chart-climbing chanteuse Iggy Azalea are an item. Look for her second single soon: "Swaggy."
He'll "Save" it - in his trapper keeper: Those who enjoy 1990s nostalgia will Screech with delight at a present Chris Paul was given for his birthday in May: a personalized picture from Tiffani Thiessen as her character Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell, in which her hair is as feathery as Paul's jump shot. We bet he was Bayside himself with joy over the gift. Cliff Paul would recommend insuring the memento, but how do you determine the value of an object that's priceless?
*thankfully, he didn't use "The Worm"
^Knicks and salmon alike should watch out for ravenous Grizzlies
Showing posts with label Nick Young. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nick Young. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Nicked at Nite
The Lakers can't catch a break this season. They can't catch a break-in, either. As of Sunday, Swaggy P's house has a lot less swag in it. While Nick Young was filling the basket, producing 26 points in an L.A. win, someone was emptying his home.
His residence was robbed of roughly $100K worth of goods. Jewelry, clothing, computers, luggage and shoes were stolen. Among his most prized possessions pilfered was a rare pair of Nikes designed by Kanye West, Air Yeezy 2 Red October, the re-sale value of which can reach the thousands. The only worth more over-inflated than those kicks is Kanye's himself.
If this story of an athlete in The Association having his stuff swiped sounds familiar, it's because Chris Bosh was burgled almost a year ago, which had to bum out the birthday boy. The heat he needed were police, not players.
"I'm going to have to get a guard dog or something," Young playfully proposed. Perhaps a basset could protect his assets. However, the choice canine to bring his belongings back is a retriever (let the hunt for his Red Octobers begin!).
*he had only one turnover in 31 minutes, so his ball security was much better than his home security
His residence was robbed of roughly $100K worth of goods. Jewelry, clothing, computers, luggage and shoes were stolen. Among his most prized possessions pilfered was a rare pair of Nikes designed by Kanye West, Air Yeezy 2 Red October, the re-sale value of which can reach the thousands. The only worth more over-inflated than those kicks is Kanye's himself.
If this story of an athlete in The Association having his stuff swiped sounds familiar, it's because Chris Bosh was burgled almost a year ago, which had to bum out the birthday boy. The heat he needed were police, not players.
"I'm going to have to get a guard dog or something," Young playfully proposed. Perhaps a basset could protect his assets. However, the choice canine to bring his belongings back is a retriever (let the hunt for his Red Octobers begin!).
*he had only one turnover in 31 minutes, so his ball security was much better than his home security
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Hi(atus), How Are You?
TV has taught us that breaking is bad, but some is good. We're off for the next dozen days, headed to the native lands of Ben Gordon and Tony Parker, respectively, on what we're titling, "The Underpants Tour." Until we return, you'll have to entertain yourselves (keep in mind, it's pathetic for a man to join Pinterest, so just behave normally and re-read the footnotes in The Book of Basketball and continue conducting experiments to determine if Michael Jordan's Flight cologne in its most concentrated form can increase your vertical jump). You could attempt the cinnamon challenge, like noted nitwits JaVale McGee and Nick Young, but for a tastier test, we suggest trying to consume a cookie Dwight Howard-style*.
* Look, Stan Van - no hands!
* Look, Stan Van - no hands!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Arenas Wasn't "Nick"ed Up
Unofficial NRA member and occasional player for the Washington Bullets, er, Wizards, Gilbert Arenas faked a knee injury so that fellow guard Nick Young could receive some more playing time. The ploy mostly worked, as Young scored 24 points, but Arenas has been fined $50K by the team for his deception. Hope every point you watched your teammate score from the bench was worth $2,083.33, Gilbert.
As the sole beneficiary of the dumb decision, Young should step up and foot the bill to express his gratitude, but Arenas shouldn't have had to resort to that tactic. As the senior-most veteran and expected leader of a callow team, he should have lobbied on Young's behalf, not lied. There was no (k)need for duplicity.
As the sole beneficiary of the dumb decision, Young should step up and foot the bill to express his gratitude, but Arenas shouldn't have had to resort to that tactic. As the senior-most veteran and expected leader of a callow team, he should have lobbied on Young's behalf, not lied. There was no (k)need for duplicity.
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