He Rests His Case

In 2012, Lamar Odom sleepwalked through a stint with the Mavericks. This year, he's just sleeping - and doing it in a different court. On Tuesday in a Manhattan hall of justice, Mr. Khloe Kardashian was spotted slumbering as attorneys attempted to reach an agreement over the care of the two children he has with his high school sweetheart, who is also a reality-TV spotlight-seeker (we guess Odom has a type).

The cause of the catnap, much like the matter's outcome*, has yet to be determined. Odom can't be tired from his time on the court because he's playing 20.5 minutes-per-game, which matches a career-low from last season. Nor should he be spent from scoring, since he's averaging just 4.1 points, his lowest amount as a pro. An officer reportedly awoke Odom and asked him to sit up. Clearly, Odom isn't losing sleep over the domestic dispute, but the former Sixth Man of the Year should've sensed this wasn't a suitable setting for shuteye. Apparently, Odom isn't familiar with the old judicial expression, "You snooze you lose - custody."

*or Odom's candy cravings

The Pop-ular Vote

Just because this blog will never win awards (unless "Least Read" is a category), doesn't mean we can't hand out accolades to others. Unlike the Chinese, we'll stop short of building a bronze statue for the honorees.

Coach of the Year: Gregg Popovich. The extra 'g' is for "great," which is what San Antonio has been under his guidance. He has the lockout figured out, winning the title last time there was one and quietly steering the Spurs to the second seed in the West. Selective sitting senior starters has been a Socratic - and successful - strategy.

Defensive Player: Dwight Howard. Serge Ibaka rocks the block, but no player changes more shots - or his mind - more than Dwight Howard. First in rebounds per game, third in rejections. Numbers don't lie, even if he does about not advocating for Stan Van to be canned.

6th Man: Lou Williams. It's a hard choice to deny James Harden, since his ppg is slightly higher than Williams, but no other player in the league leads his team in scoring while coming off the bench like Lou and, unlike Harden, he hasn't started a single game.

Most Improved: Nikola Pekovic. Jeremy Lin was positioned to win this in a Lin-dslide, but then a left knee injury ended his season early, so we penalized him for Lin-ping to the finish line. In his second season, Pekovic's minutes have doubled and he's responded by more than doubling his scoring (13.5) and rebounding averages (7.0). Bravo, man from Montenegro.

Rookie of the Year: Kyrie Irving. "Kyrie" means 'Lord' in Greek and he has fittingly been a God among mere mortals, whether it's other first-year players or his teammates. Now, he can use this honor to lord it over them.

MVP: Kobe Bryant. Last year's bestowal of it on Derrick Rose is what we'd call "Bulls-shit." The Adidas ads bragged that he was "fast" and he sure pulled a fast one on the voters. Like a pre-pubescent prince, Rose was crowned too early. Honestly, we almost gave up on the association, like Lamar Odom appears to have. While LeBron James is averaging career-highs in field goal percentage and rebounds, the Heat have cooled off considerably after the All-Star break. Rajon Rondo likely won't be mentioned, but we believe he should be in the discussion for responding to tiresome trade talks with triple-doubles. Chris Paul deserves a nod for ensuring the Clippers were worthy of the cover stories and commendation that came their way in the pre-season. Kevin Durant belongs among this consummate clique, but he has heaps of help (see: runners-up in the defensive player and 6th man categories) If there was backlash against LeBron for "The Decision" among voters, surely Dwight Howard will face some for the indecision he became synonymous with. That leaves Kobe Bryant. Saddled with a soft, strange team that sent away his steadying influence in Derek Fisher, Kobe scored enough to lead the league, while also showing he can be a sympathetic teammate. He's supported a shell-shocked Pau Gasol and a short-circuiting Andrew Bynum, not to mention brushing aside the bizarre Metta World Peace and the blunt Matt Barnes. The Lakers would be lost and much closer to last without him. He held his tongue when new coach Mike Brown benched him and Odom was dealt at a discount to the champs, so when the regular season ends in ten days, Kobe should be holding the MVP trophy.

Manu's Mano

The Spurs, already one of the teams most adversely affected by the back-breaking back-to-back-to-back schedule borne out of the lockout, has caught another bad break. Manu Ginobli, the team's leading scorer, fractured his shooting hand and will miss two months. This time period will test whether the team is over the Hill - and we're not alluding to the advanced ages of Tim Duncan and Tony Parker, but rather the exit of the up-and-coming George Hill, who signed with the Pacers. San Antonio will insert Gary Neal, another one of the franchise's fine finds, who was called up from the D-League (he played in 80 games for the Spurs last year).

The Southwest, early on, appears to be the weakest division. The Spurs sit atop it and every other team has a losing record. Last season's sweethearts, the Grizzlies, are dealing with a grizzly injury of their own to All-Star Zach Randolph. A torn MCL will shelve him for the same amount of time as Ginobli. Meanwhile, the Mavericks look incapable of defending their championship due to departure of the team's best defender (Tyson Chandler)and their best sub (J.J. Barrea). They've strangely chosen to replace those two difference-makers with trouble-makers: a guy who's acted as if he's allergic to defense (Vince Carter) and a complete headcase (Delonte West). They've also imported a Kardashian and her thin-skinned husband (Lamar Odom), thus completing the three-ring circus of awful additions. Also, Jason Kidd hurt his back in the Mavs blowout loss to the Spurs on Thursday (Neal lent a hand, chipping in with 12 points, all on threes), in a contest that saw Spurs power forward Matt Bonner outscore Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki by 11 points (17 to 6), causing Bonner to quip, "That was a Christmas miracle."* What would be a New Year's mistake is counting San Antonio out.

*The Bonner household must've been last on Santa's list for him not to arrive until January 5. Old St. Nick is blaming the delay on a faulty GPS and plans to replace his reindeer with a TomTom (that way, he'll only have to remember one name when commanding his sleigh to be guided).

An A-Paul-ing Move

Yesterday, the NBA played its version of Deal or No Deal, rescinding a trade that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers in exchange for Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom (Gasol was to be re-routed immediately to the Rockets for Luis Scola and Kevin Martin, one more live body and a future draft pick). If the Lakers had been able to pull off the move, it would have been the second time in three years that the flagship franchise fleeced another small-market team to acquire a superstar (the prior one being Memphis for Gasol), which is probably why David Stern put his wingtipped foot down. Since the league owns the Hornets, they are free to veto any of the team's transactions, so Stern said "no" to NO. Hornets GM Dell Demps discovered that making moves in the Big Easy isn't very easy.

The trade was like a light switch: it was on, it was off, the whole time surging with power. Allegedly, other owners blew a fuse over the news (with Dan Gilbert, aka "the Cleveland calligrapher," putting his feelings into writing again), angered that a West coast equivalent of the Heat was being assembled (Andrew Bynum being left out meant that the Lakers still had an asset to offer for Dwight Howard), causing the commissioner to refuse the exchange. The only comment thus far from the league is that that trade was rejected for "basketball reasons." As opposed to what, rugby reasons? It was within Stern's rights, but was it the right thing to do, to interfere to that extent? Pay no attention to the man standing behind the curtain, even if he's left the curtain partially open so the public can peek in. No one was left more shocked by the turn of events than Chris Paul, who expected to bring his electrifying play to L.A. After not letting Paul bolt, the least Stern can do is check on Paul's current condition, providing an outlet for him*.

*If we are guilty of using too many electricity puns, we accept the charge.