Dennis Rodman has held a plurality of positions: player, provacateur, peroxide blonde, paramour of peroxide blondes, but a diplomat? That's Kim Jong Un-believable. Rodman returned from his trip to the closed-off country believing that basketball could break the barriers of belligerence that have built up naturally over a half-century of hatred and threats of nuclear strikes from both sides. The star of 1999's Simon Sez says Jong Un, who assumed control in 2011, is an "awesome guy" who wishes the President would pick up the phone; "He wants Obama to do one thing, call him," Rodman reported. Even if it's collect, the young leader is willing to accept the charges.
Rodman talked about his travels on Sunday show This Week with a boy wearing a grown-up's suit, who we're told is George Stephanopolous, proceeded to enrich him politically as thoroughly as the North Koreans enrich uranium chemically. We surmise Stephanopolous had been storing up hard-hitting questions that he's banned from asking on Good Morning America like North Korea stockpiles weapons they're banned from possessing. Rodman wasn't prepped for the peppering and kept stammering, "Guess what?" Well, guess what, Dennis? Today, North Korea threatened a "preemptive nuclear attack," so your second sojourn to see your Pyongyang pal will have to be on the sooner side. This time, take Metta World Peace with you.
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